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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 6
The issue of whether the media station contributes to the education has become a controversy in the contemporary society. Despite the educational programs in media devices, children are having a failure in their academics, and this has caused the books to be irreplaceable tools used at the university. Personally, I entirely disagree for several reasons. To embark on, the asserting of visual programs is an impressive way to use these days. While the advancement is flourishing by improvements, the utilization of a book is being beneficial for two reasons: pedagogy of reading comprehension and adopting a study habit. First, the central reason behind this is the effectiveness of traditional method in reading handouts are more likely to foster juvenile intellects. Take, for example; the World Health Organization (WHO) Has surveyed the intelligence of the pupils who were using visual programs on their learnings at the Washington University and these resulted in a drastic decrease in reading comprehension of the students by 30%; however, the students who used educational handbooks has moved immensely by 50% in their language proficiency. Therefore, books are the most valuable tools in education, and it is still viable nowadays. Furthermore, it should not be forgotten that the habitual readings are used to embrace educational pattern, so if the students learned these techniques, they would break the language barrier; however, the younger ones who usually show perseverance are the person who will have an outstanding career in the future. To illustrate, most of the children were taught about using library books to research because the internet was not bearable at the time, and many of them were looking triumphant. Thus, it is conclusively clearing that the learning can be taught at its finest when these methods is applied.
The issue of whether the media station contributes to the education has become a controversy in the contemporary society. Despite the educational programs in media devices, children are having a failure in their academics, and this has caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to be irreplaceable tools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at the university.
Personally
, I
entirely
disagree for several reasons.

To embark on, the asserting of visual programs is an impressive way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these days. While the advancement is flourishing by improvements, the utilization of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is being beneficial for two reasons: pedagogy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
comprehension and adopting a study habit.
First
, the central reason behind this is the effectiveness of traditional method in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
handouts are more likely to foster juvenile intellects. Take,
for example
; the World Health Organization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(WHO)
Has surveyed the intelligence of the pupils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were using visual programs on their learnings at the Washington University and these resulted in a drastic decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
comprehension of the students by 30%;
however
, the students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
educational handbooks has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
immensely
by 50% in their language proficiency.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the most valuable tools in education, and it is
still
viable nowadays.

Furthermore
, it should not
be forgotten
that the habitual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
readings
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to embrace educational pattern,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if the students learned these techniques, they would break the language barrier;
however
, the younger ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
perseverance are the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will have an outstanding career in the future. To illustrate, most of the children
were taught
about using library
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the internet was not bearable at the time, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them were looking triumphant.
Thus
, it is
conclusively
clearing that the learning can
be taught
at its finest when these methods
You should probably use: "are".
is
applied.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 6

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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