Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 20
It goes without saying that arts play a substantive role in human life and it requires wealth to rejunvenate its roots and foundation from time to time. However, spending money on art is worthless for some folks, in their opionion, it is essential for goverment to expend its funds for the betterment of the other secotrs. I completely disagree with this view and feel that arts are worth every penny that is spend on them. There are several reasons why the goverment should spend money on arts. First of all, arts have had a unprecedented realtionship with human being since immomerial time as well as it reflects the culture of a country and promotes people's understanding of their custom and architecure. Arts are considered as a national interest, in some countries, it has significant importance. Additionaly, goverment establishes and maintains organisation that preserve arts. For instance, India has plethora of arts museam, monument and histrocial building which is undertaken by the goverment. Secondly, arts provide a huge support in economical growth of a country, namely in India, Taj Mahal which is one of the seven wonders of the world as well as regarded as a symbol of love that attracts million of people across the world towards it because of its fine beautiful construction. Every year, many people visit here to catch a glimpse of this kind of arts. This pratice boost the tourism sector very well. Thirldly, music, dance, cinema, entertanment are the form of arts which employs thousand people. Artist like singers and dancers have a huge fan following, morever, many people watch thier show. Such event provide employment to hundred of people. Without goverment funding many art form will die down and that is a huge loss for a country. To conclude, I believe that the goverment should distribute funds evenly all the sectors including art because every sector has its own contribution towards the development of a country.
It goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
play a substantive role in human life and it requires wealth to
Possible spelling mistake found.
rejunvenate
its roots and foundation from time to time.
However
, spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is worthless for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks, in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
opionion
, it is essential for
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
to expend its funds for the betterment of the other
Possible spelling mistake found.
secotrs
. I completely disagree with this view and feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are worth every penny
that is
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
on them.

There are several reasons why the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
should spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
have had
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
unprecedented
Possible spelling mistake found.
realtionship
with human being since
Possible spelling mistake found.
immomerial
time
as well
as it reflects the culture of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and promotes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's understanding of their custom and
Possible spelling mistake found.
architecure
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
are considered
as a national interest, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it has significant importance.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Additionaly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
establishes and maintains
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
that preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
For instance
, India has plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
Possible spelling mistake found.
museam
, monument and
Possible spelling mistake found.
histrocial
building which is undertaken by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
provide a huge support in
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
namely
in India, Taj Mahal which is one of the seven wonders of the world
as well
as regarded as a symbol of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
that attracts
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the world towards it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its fine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
construction. Every year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit here to catch a glimpse of this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
pratice
boost the tourism sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Thirldly
, music, dance, cinema,
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertanment
are the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
which employs
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Artist like singers and dancers have a huge fan following,
Possible spelling mistake found.
morever
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
provide employment to
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Without
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
funding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
form will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
down and
that is
a huge loss for a country.

To conclude
, I believe that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
should distribute funds
evenly
all the sectors including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every sector has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
contribution towards the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts