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Some people think that the financial support should be provided by the government to the artists . other oppose this by saying that the alternative sources must be used to help. Discuss both view.

Some people think that the financial support should be provided by the government to the artists. other oppose this by saying that the alternative sources must be used to help. x0k6a
It is generally perceived by individuals that monetary assistance must be provided by the authorities to the artistes of co curriculum activities such as music and painting; but, others oppose this by saying that the substitutes should be adopted to provide fund to the artists. According to my prospective, through financial aid they emerge their hidden talent; yet, other sources provide them instruments and best training. Proponents of the first view have the opinion of funding talented people with money, owing to make them successful in their career; their creative skills provide them a way of employment; numerous slum area people get assist to show their hidden talent. Moreover, the money help them to show their skills on international level; they get a chance to compete with renowned artists and display their cultural activities in other countries through paintings. To exemplify, the famous artist of sand art of India show their talent in America got talent show; this is possible due to the fact that the law making body of India foster Indian residents through monetary aid; it is a win and win situation as authorities get the glory in other nations and individual get a chance. It is the upside of government funding. Opponents of the former view support the idea of encouraging artist through other substitutes such as instruments for musicians, scholarship in art college and academies; public academies must be opened; so that, the learners get free of cost training; the individual who are poverty stricken, their creativity skills should be foster. Further, the exhibitions of art and craft has been held on district to higher levels so that the talent of wonderful paintings should be promoted. For instance, Badshah, a famous singer has provided free instruments and scholarship to a child name Riaan who is very good in singing; but, the child is belong to a slum areas. The singer has been promoting his talent by providing him aid. It is the downside of government financial help. In conclusion, I believed that no doubt the alternative sources of funding give instrument, free of cost training to the artists and musician; yet, the monetary help foster them to perform on international level earn a good.
It is
generally
perceived by individuals that monetary assistance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
by the authorities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artistes
of co curriculum activities such as music and painting;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, others oppose this by saying that the substitutes should
be adopted
to provide fund to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
. According to my prospective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
financial aid they emerge their hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
;
yet
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources provide them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
and best training.

Proponents of the
first
view have the opinion of funding talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with money, owing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them successful in their career; their creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
provide them a way of employment; numerous slum area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
assist to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
.
Moreover
, the money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
on international level; they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to compete with renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and display their cultural activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
paintings. To exemplify, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
of sand art of India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in America
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
; this is possible due to the fact that the law making body of India foster Indian residents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
monetary aid; it is a win and win situation as authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the glory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations and individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance. It is the upside of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funding.

Opponents of the former view support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
substitutes such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
for musicians, scholarship in art college and academies; public academies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be opened
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, the learners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free of cost training; the individual who are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
poverty stricken
, their creativity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
should be foster.
Further
, the exhibitions of art and craft has
been held
on district to higher levels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
of wonderful paintings should
be promoted
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Badshah
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
singer has provided free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instruments
and scholarship to a child name
Possible spelling mistake found.
Riaan
who is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
The usual preposition for this expression is "at". Did you mean, "good at singing"?
good in singing
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the child is
Consider using a past participle here: "belonged".
belong
to a slum
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "area"?
areas
. The singer has been promoting his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
by providing him aid. It is the downside of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

In conclusion
, I believed that no doubt the alternative sources of funding give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instrument
, free of cost training to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and musician;
yet
, the monetary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
foster them to perform on international level earn a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the financial support should be provided by the government to the artists. other oppose this by saying that the alternative sources must be used to help.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people think that the financial support should be provided by the government to the artists . other oppose this by saying that the alternative sources must be used to help. Discuss both view.