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Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others 3MOAJ
Dreams do come true and I could gather up the confidence to say this after I got selected as one of the only 40 students from India for the Kennedy Lugar Youth Exchange and Study Program in 2018. This accomplishment of mine paved way for me to gain a tremendous amount of personal growth. And it has only been getting better. KLYES Program is a 10 month High School exchange program to the United States. Where students stay with an American host family, attend high school, participate in co curricular activities and community service in their host community. And in this process they learn the American culture as well as educate their host communities about their home country and it's culture.
Dreams do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true and I could
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "gather".
gather up
the confidence to say this after I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
selected as one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
40 students from India for the Kennedy Lugar Youth Exchange and Study Program in 2018. This accomplishment of mine paved way for me to gain a tremendous amount of personal growth. And it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
been getting better.

Possible spelling mistake found.
KLYES
Program is a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use hyphens: "10-month-High"
10 month High
School exchange program to the United States. Where students stay with an American host family, attend high school, participate in co curricular activities and community service in their host community. And in this process they learn the American culture
as well
as educate their host communities about their home country and it's culture.
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IELTS essay Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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