Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past v.1

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past v. 1
Most people would agree that preserving connections with our past is an admirable objective, especially as the world evolves so rapidly. I feel that traditional costumes are one part of doing this, but they are by no means the most important, as we shall see. Admittedly, historic costume plays a key role in social events such as religious rituals or military parades, and these events are helpful in transmitting social memes such as a public duty and self-sacrifice. Traditional costumes also remind us of the origins of cultural traditions and mythologies, for instance the historic Swiss national dress which evokes their medieval independence. However, it must be said that costumes are an accessory in these situations, and do not appear to constitute the central message. It is the ceremonies themselves, which convey the cultural norms that help to maintain the fabric of society. In this sense, the costumes are of secondary importance. Furthermore, it seems that there are in fact much more powerful ways in which culture is conserved and handed down between the generations. Most countries have a rich heritage of legends and folklore about the birth and development of their nation, some of which are mythological and some being grounded in truth (as we see in the English stories about Robin Hood or George and the Dragon, for example. ) These stories are a cultural inheritance which embodies important symbols and concepts far more effectively than a dress. Similarly, we must remember the significance of art and music in passing on our traditions, in forms ranging from fine art to handicrafts, and from opera to traditional shanties and dirges. The presence of visual or linguistic messages in these media make them more effective than costumes, which convey no language. Overall, we must recognise and welcome the use of traditional dress in helping to maintain our culture. However, the forms of story, art and music would appear to be the driving forces in this invaluable process
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that preserving connections with our past is an admirable objective,
especially
as the world evolves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rapidly
. I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costumes
are one part of doing this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are by no means the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, as we shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
Admittedly
, historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costume
plays a key role in social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as religious rituals or military parades, and these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are helpful in transmitting social memes such as a public duty and self-sacrifice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costumes
also
remind us of the origins of cultural traditions and mythologies,
for instance
the historic Swiss national dress which evokes their medieval independence.

However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costumes
are an accessory in these situations, and do not appear to constitute the central message. It is the ceremonies themselves, which convey the cultural norms that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to maintain the fabric of society. In this sense, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costumes
are of secondary importance.
Furthermore
, it seems that there are in fact much more powerful ways in which culture
is conserved
and handed down between the generations. Most countries have a rich heritage of legends and folklore about the birth and development of their nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which are mythological and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
being grounded
in truth (as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the English stories about Robin Hood or George and the Dragon,
for example
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
These stories are a cultural inheritance which embodies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
symbols and concepts far more
effectively
than a dress.
Similarly
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remember the significance of art and music in passing on our traditions, in forms ranging from fine art to handicrafts, and from opera to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
shanties and dirges. The presence of visual or linguistic messages in these media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more effective than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costumes
, which convey no language.
Overall
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
and welcome the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
dress in helping to maintain our culture.
However
, the forms of story, art and music would appear to be the driving forces in this invaluable process
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past v. 1

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts