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Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a family run business? v.7

Family business are quite popular in many countries. While some believe that they have a higher chance of being successful in their business by sharing it with their kinsmen, however, some other argue that this method will lead to some obstacles for upcoming generation. In my perspective joint venture has more merits than demerits which will be ascribed in subsequent paragraphs. To embark on, the integrity and profound loyalty are the most prominent benefits of sharing a business with relatives. The family members will always stand with their business partner in any stage of life, whether ups or down come in the business. They will ever attempt to find the ways how to elaborate their business. In addition to this, kinsmen never blame their parents for any kind of loss or profit as they both may responsible for it. To corroborate, a well known brand, 'Nike' is ran by two kinsmen and they are successful in their business with joint efforts. Therefore, sharing business with kinsmen is more beneficial than sharing with third person. Despite having this, there are some drawbacks of having joint venture. First of all, family business might generate some obstacles the partners like profit sharing, position and many other. Personages will fight for their leadership in business and sometimes they will be divided into two businessmen. For instance, a joint venture between the Hero group and Honda motor company was established in 1984. Unfortunately, due to some descrimination, both partners separate their business in 2010. Hence, family business can produce misunderstanding as well as descrimination among the partners. To sum up, although there are some disagreement and disadvantages of joint venture, it is more durable as well as beneficial for the family members and upcoming generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
are quite popular in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that they have a higher chance of being successful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
it with their kinsmen,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean “others”?
other
argue that this method will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obstacles for upcoming generation. In my perspective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
venture
has more merits than demerits which will
be ascribed
in subsequent paragraphs.

To embark on, the integrity and profound loyalty are the most prominent benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with relatives. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members will always stand with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
partner in any stage of life, whether ups or down
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. They will ever attempt to find the ways how to elaborate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
In addition
to this, kinsmen never blame their parents for any kind of loss or profit as they both may responsible for it. To corroborate, a well known brand, 'Nike' is
Consider using either the past participle “run” or the present participle “running” here.
ran
by two
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kinsmen and
they are successful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
efforts.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with kinsmen is more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
with third person.

Despite having this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
venture
.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
might generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obstacles the partners like profit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
, position and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possibly, a noun is missing after ‘other’. Or do you mean “others”?
other
. Personages will fight for their leadership in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
business and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they will
be divided
into two businessmen.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
venture
between the Hero group and Honda motor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
was established
in 1984. Unfortunately, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
descrimination
, both partners separate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in 2010.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can produce misunderstanding
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
descrimination
among the partners.

To sum up, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreement and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
venture
, it is more durable
as well
as beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and upcoming generation.
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I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to run a business with is within the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a family run business.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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