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Some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city centres with apartment buildings where commuters can live .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To reduce the commuting time to workplace, some people consider that parks and gardens in proximity to the city centres should be converted into apartments. I believe that such a change would not reduce the travelling time and on the contrary would create more problems. There are many reasons why I believe that replacing parks with apartment buildings would not reduce the travelling time. Firstly, the main reason for long travelling times is not the long distances but actually traffic congestion. This is due to increasing number of cars on the road and building apartments near to city centres would worsen the situation by adding even more cars on the road. Secondly, many people like to live far away because of the noise and overcrowding near the city centres and building new apartments would increase this problem even more. In other words, it would be very hard to convince people to move into such apartments. Moreover, taking such a drastic step would bring its own set of problems. To begin with, removing trees in parks and gardens would lead to air pollution, which can increase the risk of certain cancers and have adverse effects on children, the elderly and anyone with underlying respiratory problems. The lack of parks and gardens would further exacerbate such problems. Last but not least, parks provide space for neighbourhood residents to interact with each other meet new people. They are also great places for events and for people to engage in recreational activities. This allows people to develop a sense of community. Hence, converting parks into apartments would adversely impact people's quality of life and their sense of community. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that although I agree that travelling times need to be reduced, converting parks and gardens in the city centres would not be a step in the right direction.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the commuting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to workplace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
in proximity to the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
should
be converted
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
. I believe that such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
on the contrary
would create more problems.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why I believe that replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
buildings would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Firstly
, the main reason for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
is not the long distances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
actually traffic congestion. This is due to increasing number of cars on the road and building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
near to city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
would worsen the situation by adding even more cars on the road.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the noise and overcrowding near the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and building new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
would increase this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
even more.
In other words
, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into such apartments.

Moreover
, taking such a drastic step would bring its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, removing trees in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
would lead to air pollution, which can increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of certain cancers and have adverse effects on children, the elderly and anyone with underlying respiratory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
would
further
exacerbate such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
provide space for
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
residents to interact with each other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They are
also
great places for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to engage in recreational activities. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop a sense of community.
Hence
, converting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
would
adversely
impact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's quality of life and their sense of community.

In conclusion
, I would like to reiterate that although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, converting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
would not be a step in the right direction.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city centres with apartment buildings where commuters can live.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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