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Some people think that the best way to reduce poverty is to give people 6 years of free education. Do you agreed or disagreed?

Some people think that the best way to reduce poverty is to give people 6 years of free education. Do you agreed or disagreed? gWbLD
In developing countries, poverty is always an unsolvable problem. Some people think that the best way to reduce poverty is to give people 6 years of free education. This essay will explain why I don’t completely agree with this opinion. Offering 6 years of free education offers many benefits. Firstly, having 6 years of free schooling helps to enrich a country's intellectual resources because people can access knowledge easily without having to worry about money at least. More talents appeared, giving birth to countless innovative inventions to help the country develop more and more. Second, those six years of free education can erase social evils. Easy access to knowledge can reduce illiteracy, more people get a job, reverse poverty, and so on. However, those 6 years of free education have backfired. Many teachers will fall into the situation of lack of money to live, or even lose their jobs because there is no source of income, from which people's taxes increase. On the other hand, the competition in learning is reduced because it's free, so many people don't appreciate those 6 years of learning, everything will be wasted. In conclusion, providing 6 years of free schooling will help many people get out of illiteracy, have the opportunity to access knowledge, but at the same time the teaching industry will suffer a lot of damage as well as competition in learning reduce.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, poverty is always an unsolvable problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
poverty is to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
6 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I don’t completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

Offering 6 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
Firstly
, having 6 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
schooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to enrich a country's intellectual resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access knowledge
easily
without having to worry about money at least. More talents appeared, giving birth to countless innovative inventions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the country develop more and more. Second, those six years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can erase social evils. Easy access to knowledge can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
illiteracy, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job, reverse poverty, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

However
, those 6 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have backfired.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
teachers will fall into the situation of lack of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, or even lose their jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no source of income, from which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's taxes increase.
On the other hand
, the competition in learning is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't appreciate those 6 years of learning, everything will
be wasted
.

In conclusion
, providing 6 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
schooling will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of illiteracy, have the opportunity to access knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time the teaching industry will suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
damage
as well
as competition in learning
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to reduce"
reduce
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce poverty is to give people 6 years of free education. Do you agreed or disagreed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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