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There are people who like to spend time with their own age group and people that spend their time with different age groups. What approach is better in your opinion? Give relevant examples from your own experience

There are people who like to spend time with their own age group and people that spend their time with different age groups. What approach is better in your opinion? Give relevant examples from your own experience 8dLwr
To deal with modern life like today, many young people have a lot of stressful. They always reduce that by some ways like going to bar clubs, mingle with their friends or going shopping. A section of people feels really comfortable only when they go with the same age group while others think they should spend their time with older or younger people. In current essay, I would discuss both views and give my opinion. On one hand, the people who spends time with the same age group is usually have similar interests and thoughts. People can easily exchange what they are thinking about any problems. Furthermore, their physical and intellectual level is more or less the same. For instance, they can be ride a bike at full speed instead of walking. Moreover, if you have a same age group, you can be more trendy together. It's essential for all friendship. On the other hand, some people believe that spend more time on different age group is amazing. People can learn more helpful experiences from older friends. On the contrary, you can express your lesson that you have from work or life to your elder brother/sister. In addition, people can speak at length on the topics which would be more insprired. In conclusion, some people mingle theirselves into similar age to exchange their views and have more common thoughts. Therefore, I believe that spend time with different age groups would help them a lot wonderful lesson that you never seen at school.
To deal with modern life like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
stressful. They always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
that by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways like going to bar clubs, mingle with their friends or going shopping. A section of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feels
really
comfortable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with older or younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
essay, I would discuss both views and give my opinion.

On one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "spend"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is
usually
have similar interests and thoughts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
easily
exchange what they are thinking about any problems.
Furthermore
, their physical and intellectual level is more or less the same.
For instance
, they can be
Consider using a past participle here: "ridden".
ride
a bike at full speed
instead
of walking.
Moreover
, if you have a same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, you can be more trendy together. It's essential for all friendship.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is amazing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can learn more helpful experiences from older friends.
On the contrary
, you can express your lesson that you have from work or life to your elder brother/sister.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can speak at length on the topics which would be more
Possible spelling mistake found.
insprired
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mingle
Possible spelling mistake found.
theirselves
into similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to exchange their views and have more common thoughts.
Therefore
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them a lot wonderful lesson that you never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at school.
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IELTS essay There are people who like to spend time with their own age group and people that spend their time with different age groups. What approach is better in your opinion? Give relevant examples from your own experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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