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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views give your opinion.

People have different views about how to mitigate the crime rate. While some argue that extension of prison sentences is the best suited for this purpose, I believe that it would be more reasonable to conceive all the factors which might have affected the perpetrator at the time of the crime. On the one hand, prolonging the jail time can be a key element in coping with criminal activity. Long prison sentences provide an opportunity for criminals to recognize their mistakes of the past as well as to change their mind and behavior. For example, recent researches have shown that criminals who have served sentences of up to three years in prison inclined to re-violate the law, while perpetrators sentenced to more than 15 years after release become law-abiding citizens. It means that the extension of the period of imprisonment is an effective action to prevent crimes from happening again. On the other hand, it is understandable why some people, including myself, believe that people can successfully deal with crime as long as there is no need to break the law. It often happens that mentally healthy people break the law in order to survive in conditions of hunger, poverty and unemployment. For example, in countries such as Switzerland, Norway, and Sweden with a high standard of living, violent crimes are virtually nonexistent. Therefore, in countries with developed economy and high income level people do not need to rob, cheat or take bribes. Also, the cause of the offence may be self-defense. In such cases, the government should mediate the intensity of punishment. In conclusion, although fixed punishment for each criminal offense can deter people from any criminal act, it does not treat the actual problem and that is why it is more important to look at not only the severity of the crime but also the circumstances that led to it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how to mitigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that extension of prison sentences is the best suited for this purpose, I believe that it would be more reasonable to conceive all the factors which might have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the perpetrator at the time of the crime.

On the one hand, prolonging the jail time can be a key element in coping with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activity. Long prison sentences provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to recognize their mistakes of the past
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mind and behavior.
For example
, recent researches have shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who have served sentences of up to three years in prison inclined to re-violate the law, while perpetrators sentenced to more than 15 years after release become law-abiding citizens. It means that the extension of the period of imprisonment is an effective action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
from happening again.

On the other hand
, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including myself, believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
successfully
deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as long as there is no need to break the law. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
happens that mentally healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
break the law in order to survive in conditions of hunger, poverty and unemployment.
For example
, in countries such as Switzerland, Norway, and Sweden with a high standard of living, violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
virtually
nonexistent.
Therefore
, in countries with developed economy and high income level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to rob, cheat or take bribes.
Also
, the cause of the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘offence’ is British English.
offence
may be self-defense. In such cases, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should mediate the intensity of punishment.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
punishment for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
offense can deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
act, it does not treat the actual problem and
that is
why it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to look at not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the severity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the circumstances that led to it.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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