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Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that some specific occupations such as doctors, nurses and teachers should be much appreciated by paying high salaries because of their more beneficial contribution to the society than the athletes and famous celebrities. I partly agree with this opinion and think that both types of profession should be equally valued and paid. It is understandable why some occupations deserve a high salary. The main reason behind this is that doctors, nurses and teachers make the greatest contribution to the society. While physicians and nurses increase people’s life expectancy and save their lives, teachers shape future generations by inspiring current student to become better people in our community. Also, when salaries for such kind of specialists is a problem, fewer people want to become doctors or teachers. For instance, a majority (82%) of respondents to a TIME poll said that they don’t want to go into this profession because it very stressful and doesn’t pay enough. However, sport and entertainment are still an important part of our life and good entertainers and athletes should also be paid appropriately. They are rewarded for their talents, which they have performed in order to satisfy public needs and expectations. Their energies, dedication, and years of practice and hardworking has a right to be valued accordingly. Moreover, these entertainers and sports stars have to handle great pressure. Their job is not as easy as it seems for the first time. People may think they that have it easy, as they earned huge amounts of money for kicking a ball around or just by singing in the scene. But, they always need to stay fit, be creative, be careful with what they said and control emotions in front of an audience. All of this has a detrimental effect on their health and mental conditions. To sum up, even if medics and teachers are making a great contribution to society, I believe that the contribution of celebrities is also shouldn’t be ignored.
It is
often
argued that
some
specific occupations such as doctors, nurses and
teachers
should be much appreciated by paying high salaries
because
of their more beneficial
contribution
to the society than the athletes and
famous celebrities
. I partly
agree
with this opinion and
think
that both types of profession should be
equally
valued and paid.

It is understandable why
some
occupations deserve a high salary. The main reason behind this is that doctors, nurses and
teachers
make
the greatest
contribution
to the society. While physicians and nurses increase
people’s
life expectancy and save their
lives
,
teachers
shape future generations by inspiring
current
student to become better
people
in our community.
Also
, when salaries for such kind of specialists is a problem, fewer
people
want to become doctors or
teachers
.
For instance
, a majority (82%) of respondents to a TIME poll said that they don’t want to go into this profession
because
it
very
stressful and doesn’t pay
enough
.

However
, sport and entertainment are
still
an
important
part of our life and
good
entertainers and athletes should
also
be paid
appropriately
. They
are rewarded
for their talents, which they have performed in order to satisfy public needs and expectations. Their energies, dedication, and years of practice and hardworking has a right to
be valued
accordingly
.
Moreover
, these entertainers and sports stars
have to
handle great pressure. Their job is not as easy as it seems for the
first
time.
People
may
think
they that have it easy, as they earned huge amounts of money for kicking a ball around or
just
by singing in the scene.
But
, they always need to stay fit, be creative, be careful with what they said and control emotions in front of an audience. All of this has a detrimental effect on their health and mental conditions.

To sum up, even if medics and
teachers
are making a great
contribution
to society, I believe that the
contribution
of celebrities is
also
shouldn’t be
ignored
.
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IELTS essay Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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