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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.15

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 15
It is thought by some individuals that, the most effective way to alleviate criminal activity is to hand the culprits a longer prison sentence, while others opined that, other measures to reduce crime abound. This essay will discuss both views and clearly state the reasons why I believe, other productive channels should be considered to ameliorate nefarious acts. On the one hand, long incarceration ensures that criminals are removed and locked out of the functioning population. This is because, they are housed in maximum facilities, where no interaction with the general population is allowed, and consequently, this results in a rather crime-free environment, devoid of these nefarious individuals. For example, having a burglar committed to at least five years in the penitentiary, would ensure he never tries such in an instant. In addition, locking up a criminal in maximum prison for an extended period, facilitates his remission, and reduce their propensity to perpetrate such crimes in the future. On the other hand, locking up a wayward bandit in exile, is not enough to curb their criminal intents and latent innocuous behaviour. Conscious effort is needed to rehabilitate and re-orient them, before their incorporation into the society. Hence, handing prison sentences and making them serve time, would become a wasted attempt to help the populace. For instance, a study conducted by The American Society of Psychologists, found that, the more rehabilitative effort rather than incarceration, towards a criminal, the more the possibility of reducing their crime threshold. Therefore, the environs benefit a greater deal from re-orientating these folks, than from their imprisonment. To conclude, while it is important to imprison criminals and, thereby, reducing crimes. It is more beneficial to explore other methods, which include; rehabilitation and reorientation of bandits. This will cause a change in their psyche and decrease their threshold to committing crime, and will lead to a total overhaul of criminality in the society.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that, the most effective way to alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activity is to hand the culprits a longer prison sentence, while others opined that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
abound. This essay will discuss both views and
clearly
state the reasons why I believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
productive channels should
be considered
to ameliorate nefarious acts.

On the one hand, long incarceration ensures that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are removed
and locked out of the functioning population. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they
are housed
in maximum facilities, where no interaction with the general population is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
, and
consequently
, this results in a
rather
crime-free environment, devoid of these nefarious individuals.
For example
, having a burglar committed to at least five years in the penitentiary, would ensure he never tries such in an instant.
In addition
, locking up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
in maximum prison for an extended period, facilitates his remission, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their propensity to perpetrate such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the future.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, locking up a wayward bandit in exile, is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to curb their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
intents and latent innocuous
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Conscious effort
is needed
to rehabilitate and re-orient them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their incorporation into the society.
Hence
, handing prison sentences and making them serve time, would become a wasted attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the populace.
For instance
, a study conducted by The American Society of Psychologists, found that, the more rehabilitative effort
rather
than incarceration, towards a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
, the more the possibility of reducing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
threshold.
Therefore
, the environs benefit a greater deal from re-orientating these folks, than from their imprisonment.

To conclude
, while it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to imprison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and, thereby, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. It is more beneficial to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods, which include; rehabilitation and reorientation of bandits. This will cause a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their psyche and decrease their threshold to committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, and will lead to a total overhaul of criminality in the society.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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