Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that the best way to broaden young people’s understanding of the world is to encourage them to travel to other countries.

Some people think that the best way to broaden young people’s understanding of the world is to encourage them to travel to other countries. 856A5
Nowadays young people often have tremendous troubles with their identity due to the narrow set of experiences which has a deep impact on their future and life-altering decisions. It is widely considered that international travelling is one of the best ways to broaden one's perspective and change that pattern. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement because visiting other countries may give youngsters incomparable experiences for whole life. First of all, travelling force people to step outside of their comfort zone which can build build their confidence. Being in a new environment, surrounded by locals, who hold different values pushes young people to think holistically, not only through the lens of established routine, which in consequence enables them to become smarter, more competent individuals. Moreover, as adolescents have to conquer the obstacles of communicating in a foreign language, for example, asking for direction or buying basic necessities, they can build assertiveness and the ability to adapt to novel situations, which may be a crucial skill in finding a dream job. Second of all, travelling abroad develops the cultural sensitivity, which is the key in the globalized world. Being aware of cultural values and norms can not only be fascinating, but can also help young adults understand global issues and conflicts, which may play the instrumental role in both personal and professional life. For example, in Spain it is a norm that workers take took a 2-3 hour siesta in the middle of the day, which is not a symptom of laziness but Spanish valued family tradition. In conclusion, I strongly agree that travelling is one of the best methods to expand the horizons of youngsters, as not everyone of them has that opportunity in life to learn a new language or try a demanding hobby. Travelling may be an opportunity for them to learn about the world and people.
Nowadays young
people
often
have tremendous troubles with their identity due to the narrow set of experiences which has a deep impact on their future and life-altering decisions. It is
widely
considered that international
travelling
is one of the best ways to broaden one's perspective and
change
that pattern. I
wholeheartedly
agree
with this statement
because
visiting other countries may give youngsters incomparable experiences for whole life.

First of all
,
travelling
force
people
to step
outside of
their comfort zone which can
build build
their confidence. Being in a new environment, surrounded by locals, who hold
different
values pushes young
people
to
think
holistically
, not
only
through the lens of established routine, which in consequence enables them to become smarter, more competent individuals.
Moreover
, as adolescents
have to
conquer the obstacles of communicating in a foreign language,
for example
, asking for direction or buying
basic necessities
, they can build assertiveness and the ability to adapt to novel situations, which may be a crucial
skill
in finding a dream job.

Second of all,
travelling
abroad develops the cultural sensitivity, which is the key in the globalized world. Being aware of cultural values and norms can not
only
be fascinating,
but
can
also
help
young adults understand global issues and conflicts, which may play the instrumental role in both personal and professional life.
For example
, in Spain it is a norm that workers take took a 2-3 hour siesta in the middle of the day, which is not a symptom of laziness
but
Spanish valued family tradition.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
agree
that
travelling
is one of the best methods to expand the horizons of youngsters, as not
everyone
of them has that opportunity in life to learn a new language or try a demanding hobby.
Travelling
may be an opportunity for them to learn about the world and
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to broaden young people’s understanding of the world is to encourage them to travel to other countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts