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some people think that the advertisments encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. other people think that advertisements help us to improve quality of life

some people think that the advertisments encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. other people think that advertisements help us to improve quality of life gbKY3
It is generally observed that advertising world is becoming more functional to meet the market criteria. One of the most debatable issue nowadays is whether to buy things which are required or merely go with advertisements. A number of people believe that materials depicted in commercials are merely not needed on the contrary there is a certain group of people who claims that Newly developed products are necessary to improve the quality of life. In my essay, partially agree viewpoints will be presented with relevant examples and neutral conclusion will be provided. Firstly, to shop for things that are required or not required merely depends on and varies from person to person according to their needs and wants. For instance, according to the recent survey held in North America, there were 54% of people who would like to buy whatever they watch on screen without giving a second thought whether they need it or not. Secondly, Most of the commercials exerts pressure through their powerful and interesting content to sell their brand. To look into an example, kids channel have a huge number of kids product commercials which are molded so beautifully that attracts everyone’s attention. Moreover, there are certain features like eye catching color contrast, jingles and rhymes, fascinating characterization which ultimately pushes a person to look into it and buy. On Contradiction, there is plethora of citizens who keep intriguing for newly launched product as the advancement in technology is booming day to day. Updated models of electronic world are being introduced on regular basis. To illustrate, a cell phone industry throwing new advanced model with tiny updated version is catching attention of masses. Newly launched home appliances with automatic feature which save time and less manual effort are source of pleasure for homemakers. To conclude the idea, spending hard-earned money on stuff that are not needed is merely nature dependent. Commercially developed ideas exerts undefinable pressure to buy their brand but to keep searching for advancement, advertisement is supposed to be the life and time saver for many.
It is
generally
observed that advertising world is becoming more functional to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the market criteria. One of the most debatable issue nowadays is whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things which
are required
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
merely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
advertisements. A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that materials depicted in commercials are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
merely
not needed
on the contrary
there is a certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who claims that
Newly
developed products are necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life. In my essay,
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
viewpoints will
be presented
with relevant examples and neutral conclusion will
be provided
.

Firstly
, to shop for things that
are required
or not required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
merely
depends on and varies from person to person according to their needs and wants.
For instance
, according to the recent survey held in North America, there were 54% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
whatever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on screen without giving a second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
whether they need it or not.

Secondly
, Most of the commercials exerts pressure through their powerful and interesting content to sell their brand. To look into an example, kids channel have a huge number of kids product commercials which
are molded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
beautifully
that attracts everyone’s attention.
Moreover
, there are certain features like eye catching color contrast, jingles and rhymes, fascinating characterization which
ultimately
pushes a person to look into it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

On Contradiction, there is plethora of citizens who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
intriguing for
newly
launched product as the advancement in technology is booming day to day. Updated models of electronic world are
being introduced
on regular basis. To illustrate, a cell phone industry throwing new advanced model with tiny updated version is catching attention of masses.
Newly
launched home appliances with automatic feature which save time and less manual effort are source of pleasure for homemakers.

To conclude
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, spending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned money on stuff that are not needed is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
merely
nature dependent.
Commercially
developed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
exerts undefinable pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their brand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
searching for advancement, advertisement
is supposed
to be the life and time saver for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
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IELTS essay some people think that the advertisments encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. other people think that advertisements help us to improve quality of life

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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