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First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of fulfillment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary, but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won't enjoy his life. While pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction. For example, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate about science. That's why it's more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high salary

First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of fulfillment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary, but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won't enjoy his life. While pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction. For example, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate about science. That's why it's more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high salary VYNl3
First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of fulfillment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary, but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won't enjoy his life. While pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction. For example, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate about science. That's why it's more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high salary
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that job satisfaction gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a sense of fulfillment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won't enjoy his life. While pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
researchers made their career choices not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of appealing wages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were passionate about science. That's why it's more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to choose the kind of work that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you happy than to look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at a high
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
salary

IELTS essay First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of fulfillment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary, but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won't enjoy his life. While pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction. For example, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate about science. That's why it's more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high salary

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
99 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of fulfillment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary, but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won't enjoy his life. While pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction. For example, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate about science. That's why it's more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high salary