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Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. v. 3
Many people believe that students can study better because of technology; others, however, hold the view that it distracts people from serious studying process. While I’m in favour of the former opinion, I am going to delve into both views in this essay. It is understandable why many people think that students should study without technology. They may assert that youngsters who use machinery will not seriously focus on studying and will be attracted to other things on the information superhighway. This is due to the fact that young people usually become addicted to internet like social networks, online games, harmful web. . . , that’s not helpful for their study. Moreover, by being addicted to the internet, they will be more dependent and lead to social issues or even permit the crime. In spite of these arguments, I side with those who believe that technology is the powerful tool for students. From my perspective, it is best that students take advantage of the internet to search for the information they don’t know or understand. It is highly beneficial that it is an invaluable help for students to do greater research and gain profound understanding. What is more, the development of machinery has pushed back the frontier of studying. Education in recent days means not only traditional studying at school, but also online studies and homeschooling thanks to the help of the internet. For example, it is uncomplicated to find online tutoring videos about diverse subjects with detailed explanation. To sum up, although it might seem that there’s no need for the Net in studies, I support the view that young people should access to the Web to improve their knowledge as well as experience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technology; others,
however
, hold the view that it distracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
process. While I’m in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the former opinion, I am going to delve into both views in this essay.

It is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
without technology. They may assert that youngsters who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
machinery will not
seriously
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and will
be attracted
to other things on the information superhighway.
This is due to the fact that
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
become addicted to internet like social networks, online games, harmful web.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
that’s not helpful for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Moreover
, by
being addicted
to the internet, they will be more dependent and lead to social issues or even permit the crime.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these arguments, I side with those who believe that technology is the powerful tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. From my perspective, it is best that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
take advantage of the internet to search for the information they don’t know or understand. It is
highly
beneficial that it is an invaluable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do greater research and gain profound understanding.
What is more
, the development of machinery has pushed back the frontier of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
. Education in recent days means not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and homeschooling thanks to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the internet.
For example
, it
is uncomplicated
to find online tutoring videos about diverse subjects with detailed explanation.

To sum up, although it might seem that there’s no need for the Net in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, I support the view that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should access to the Web to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge
as well
as experience.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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