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Robert Snowden: Some people think that people are naturally gifted to be a leader. Others, however argue that anyone can learn leadership. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.1

Robert Snowden: Some people think that people are naturally gifted to be a leader. Others, however argue that anyone can learn leadership. v. 1
It goes without saying that today’s competitive world requires an individual who has got soft skills. Although many people believe that one should have a god-gifted talent for being a leader, I strongly confess that leadership can be learned as a skill even if it sounds somehow far-fetched. On the one hand, being excelled in leading is not as easy as learning a particular subject. We inherit this talent from our parents, which makes it impossible to copy. Scientifically, there is more evidence that only numerous children are born as a leader because they have transferred their parents’ genes and this fact is far plainer with natural leadership as compare to man-made one. Therefore, the children of most successful people are more likely to be as phenomenal as their parents. However, aforementioned matter does not apply the same to everyone. Thus, the fact that people are capable to learn leadership skills is supported by many. Since, this bizarre ability is considered to be a skill which can be trained and improved in any way, it is straightforward to attain a quality of guiding a group of people. In other words, we, probably, become students of those whose leadership skills are beyond a doubt. In particular, successful celebrities get to deliver some speeches turn by turn on account of others’ taking advantage of this encouragement to move forward. If this exposure is accepted, mankind can easily come to understanding that businesses will grow in the near future as there will be quite more amount of CEOs who are inspired and can guide their workers towards success. In conclusion, taking into account all of the considerations mentioned, I believe in order to develop as human beings, we have to embrace the idea of handling leadership and enhancing according to our desire so that future generations also continue living in harmony.
It goes without saying that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s competitive world requires an individual who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that one should have a god-gifted talent for being a leader, I
strongly
confess that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
can
be learned
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
even if it sounds somehow far-fetched.

On the one hand,
being excelled
in leading is not as easy as learning a particular subject. We inherit this talent from our parents, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it impossible to copy.
Scientifically
, there is more evidence that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
numerous children
are born
as a leader
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have transferred their parents’ genes and this fact is far plainer with natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
as compare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made one.
Therefore
, the children of most successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to be as phenomenal as their parents.

However
, aforementioned matter does not apply the same to everyone.
Thus
, the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are capable to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is supported
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. Since, this bizarre ability
is considered
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
which can
be trained
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in any way, it is straightforward to attain a quality of guiding a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, we,
probably
, become students of those whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are beyond a doubt.
In particular
, successful celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to deliver
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
speeches turn by turn on account of others’ taking advantage of this encouragement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward. If this exposure is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
, mankind can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to understanding that businesses will grow in the near future as there will be quite more amount of CEOs who
are inspired
and can guide their workers towards success.

In conclusion
, taking into account
Consider using "all the".
all of the
considerations mentioned, I believe in order to develop as human beings, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
embrace the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of handling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
and enhancing according to our desire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that future generations
also
continue living in harmony.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Robert Snowden: Some people think that people are naturally gifted to be a leader. Others, however argue that anyone can learn leadership. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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