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Some People think that team sports prepare children for work life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some People think that team sports prepare children for work life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion 85l9w
There is a school of thought that believes that group sports don’t help children to get ready for a career. I think that it is the opposite because such games help in not only learning life lessons but also in entertainingly developing specific skills. One of the significant reasons I believe is that such activities impart skills, like leadership and cooperativeness, which lays the foundation of success in a profession. These skills act as a foundation because, if a person desires to scale up the career, the person is required to work in a team when the said skills become vital. For instance, corporations understand the need for team building activities and organize sports activities over the weekend. In addition, there has been no doubt even among scholars that group activities help to know about the weaknesses of team members and teaches how to handle them to achieve the goal. Despite the proven belief, there are people who argue on this by stating that sports activities are meant for just the entertainment, whereas professional life poses separate challenges altogether. Considering the said hypothesis, as a fact, many parents do not allow their children to participate. In a recent survey done by the sports board in India, it was discovered many parents believe that team sports develop negative habits, such as enviousness, as well. To conclude, although team sports help children to learn the necessary skills required in corporate life, some people consider them useless. There is no doubt in my mind that group games make children ready for work.
There is a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that believes that group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready for a career. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the opposite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learning life lessons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in
entertainingly
developing specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

One of the significant reasons I believe is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
impart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, like leadership and cooperativeness, which lays the foundation of success in a profession. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
act as a foundation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if a person desires to scale up the career, the person
is required
to work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
when the said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
become vital.
For instance
, corporations understand the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and organize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
over the weekend.
In addition
, there has been no doubt even among scholars that group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to know about the weaknesses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members and teaches how to handle them to achieve the goal.

Despite the proven belief, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue on this by stating that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are meant
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the entertainment, whereas professional life poses separate challenges altogether. Considering the said hypothesis, as a fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate. In a recent survey done by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
board in India, it
was discovered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
habits, such as enviousness,
as well
.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
required in corporate life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider them useless. There is no doubt in my mind that group games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ready for work.
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IELTS essay Some People think that team sports prepare children for work life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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