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Some people think that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Some people think that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your opinion. v. 1
A child's development is directly proportionate with the way he or she is taught. Many people reckon that for an offspring to develop, he should be taught at home while others think it is vital for them to go to school. I my opinion, schools are the best place for a child's progress. In the school, a child undergoes various phases which aids in his overall improvement. A child takes part in a number of extra-curricular activities, which enhance his personality and builds confidence. Furthermore, schools assist in teaching and honing the concepts with the help of various techniques, which in turn prepares them for future endeavours. In addition, a kid interacts with various other students with different thoughts, this interaction helps to build and widen the thoughts contributing to mental growth. To exemplify, children in schools interact and share their opinions on various topics which makes them learned and contribute to their personal growth. On the flip side, a child is away from the external environment when taught at home. This builds the concentration level leading to his development. For instance, to keep a close attention on the child's improvement, parents appoint a tutor at home. Moreover, a child gets the entire attention of the tutor when taught at the place of residence. This close monitoring aid in the overall success. To recapitulate, schools a play an important role in evolving and nourishing a child's overall development. However, educating children in the house builds up the concentration level which also aids in their growth.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
development is
directly
proportionate with the way he or she
is taught
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon that for an offspring to develop, he should
be taught
at home while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is vital for them to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are the best place for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
progress.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
undergoes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
phases which aids in his
overall
improvement. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
takes part
in a number of extra-curricular activities, which enhance his personality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
builds
confidence.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
assist in teaching and honing the concepts with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
techniques, which in turn prepares them for future
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
.
In addition
, a kid interacts with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
other students with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thoughts, this interaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
and widen the thoughts contributing to mental growth. To exemplify, children in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
interact and share their opinions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
topics which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them learned and contribute to their personal growth.

On the flip side, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is away from the external environment when taught at home. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
builds
the concentration level leading to his development.
For instance
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a close attention on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
improvement, parents appoint a tutor at home.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the entire attention of the tutor when taught at the place of residence. This close monitoring aid in the
overall
success.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
a play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in evolving and nourishing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child's
overall
development.
However
, educating children in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
builds
up the concentration level which
also
aids in their growth.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people think that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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