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A lot of students from the developing countries are moving towards the western countries for higher education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this migration? v.2

A lot of students from the developing countries are moving towards the western countries for higher education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this migration? v. 2
Migration from one country to another has brought about many changes in the lives of humans. Huge influx of people migrates from the developing countries annually especially for attaining higher education in order to provide a better living for the future generation. It definitely has its advantages and disadvantages which I will discuss in this essay. Many factors are involved which tends to provoke the young generation to head towards the developed countries for higher education. Political and economic impact, lack of standard education, human rights violation, social insecurity and low standard of living may cause people from developing countries to migrate for better opportunities. Moving to a developed country for higher education provides a better grooming of the personality which cannot be achieved in a third world country. Migrants would indulge in different activities which would be beneficial of having substantial growth in career. The level of education in a developed country is designed to promote ethics, hard work and sense of responsibility whereas violation of laws suppresses all these factors in a developing country. Few disadvantages are also related to this migration to the developed countries. These migrants usually do not get an opportunity to go back to their countries or revive with their elder ones because they are lost in the fast life, striving hard to earn a living. Another disadvantage is the security issue of the locals in the West. A feeling of insecurity is developed among the citizens because of the huge number of migrants entering their country. Migration is a continuous process where people would leave their land to find peace and prosperity regardless of its disadvantages.
Migration from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another has brought about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of humans. Huge influx of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrates from the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
annually
especially
for attaining higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in order to provide a better living for the future generation. It definitely has its advantages and disadvantages which I will discuss in this essay.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factors
are involved
which tends to provoke the young generation to head towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Political and economic impact, lack of standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, human rights violation, social insecurity and low standard of living may cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to migrate for better opportunities. Moving to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides a better grooming of the personality which cannot
be achieved
in a third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Migrants would indulge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities which would be beneficial of having substantial growth in career. The level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is designed
to promote ethics,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and sense of responsibility whereas violation of laws suppresses all these factors in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
.

Few disadvantages are
also
related to this migration to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. These migrants
usually
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to go back to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or revive with their elder ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are lost
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
life, striving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn a living. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
is the security issue of the locals in the West. A feeling of insecurity is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
among the citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the huge number of migrants entering their country.

Migration is a continuous process where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their land to find peace and prosperity regardless of its disadvantages.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay A lot of students from the developing countries are moving towards the western countries for higher education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this migration? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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