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Some people think that students should study whatever they like. others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your opin v.1

Some people think that students should study whatever they like. others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. 1
The last 25 years have seen significant changes in people's outlook towards life and as a result, family ties notably weakened. Modernisation and changing lifestyles have changed family values of people, over time. In this essay, I will discuss some of the several factors responsible for this change and will also suggest ways in which families can develop a stronger bond. Firstly, we need to understand the factors causing this change, only then we can think of measures to bring people together. One of the many reasons for this, is the growth of technology and a busy work schedule. Modern developments and advancement in the field of Computer Science have made lives considerably easier, but have greatly hampered the family ties. Young people have moved to new cities and different countries in search of better jobs and improved life quality. For example, in China, the joint family structure has altered a lot in the last couple years. The young Chinese generation have moved and are moving to distant English speaking countries for career advancement opportunities and higher remuneration. Due to this, there is a sharp fall in the number of large joint family units, by almost 40%. Another big factor, is the rise of the social media. The younger generation is more interested in maintaining friendships and relations with their families, via platforms like Facebook, Google and Instagram, rather than, participating in social gatherings and family functions. Such as, in the U. S, now only 40% of the American population, have dinner together with their families. Also, for instance, the fast track, busy lifestyle in the Netherlands and Germany, has lead to a 30% decrease in Christmas and Thanksgiving family get-togethers. There are different ways in which this problem can be minimised and families can be brought together. Education and raising awareness about the importance of sharing a strong bond with relatives should be highlighted. As revealed by schools in Canada, where moral science curriculums have stressed on teaching children, the benefits and values of sharing close-knit ties with cousins, grandparents, uncles, aunts and parents. Therefore, more Canadians have realised the significance of relationships and are spending more time with their near and dear ones. Furthermore, the governments and multinational companies worldwide, can take steps to reduce job related pressure. They should allow more incentives and grant paid leave, so that family members can enjoy their time with each-other. To exemplify, many Scandinavian corporate companies have started a 4-day work week and have increased the wages and annual paid leave of their employees. Owing to this, there has been great improvement in the social life of people. The Danes and the Norwegian youth are seen, spending their vacations socialising with their grandparents and cousins. In summary, families are very important. The 21st century has observed prominent technological advancements, the popularity of social media, mass immigration, professional growth, and educational competitions which have impacted close-knit family structures in a negative way, worldwide. Even though, familial relationship ties today, are not as strong as it used to be in the past, we can always work together to bring people together. Both the governments and individuals share this responsibility. Raising awareness and realising the seriousness of family connections and one's roots is the first crucial step to improve matters. Reducing workload, increasing wages, granting more paid leave, organising family gatherings and the governments ensuring these implementations take place, can definitely bring people together and strengthen social bonds.
The last 25 years have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's outlook towards life and
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
ties
notably
weakened.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Modernisation' is British English.
Modernisation
and changing lifestyles have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, over time. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
several factors responsible for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and will
also
suggest ways in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can develop a stronger bond.

Firstly
, we need to understand the factors causing this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of measures to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together. One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this, is the growth of technology and a busy work schedule. Modern developments and advancement in the field of Computer Science have made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
considerably
easier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have
greatly
hampered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
ties. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to new cities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries in search of better jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
life quality.
For example
, in China, the joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structure has altered a lot in the last couple years. The young Chinese generation have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
and are moving to distant
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
countries for career advancement opportunities and higher remuneration. Due to this, there is a sharp fall in the number of large joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
units, by almost 40%. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
factor, is the rise of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media. The younger generation is more interested in maintaining friendships and relations with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, via platforms like Facebook, Google and Instagram,
rather
than, participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
gatherings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
functions. Such as, in the U. S,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
40% of the American population, have dinner together with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Also
,
for instance
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
, busy lifestyle in the Netherlands and Germany, has lead to a 30% decrease in Christmas and Thanksgiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
-togethers.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways in which this problem can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can
be brought
together. Education and raising awareness about the importance of sharing a strong bond with relatives should
be highlighted
. As revealed by schools in Canada, where moral science curriculums have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
on teaching children, the benefits and values of sharing close-knit ties with cousins, grandparents, uncles, aunts and parents.
Therefore
, more Canadians have
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
the significance of relationships and are spending more time with their near and dear ones.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
worldwide, can take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
job related pressure. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
more incentives and grant paid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can enjoy their time with each-other. To exemplify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Scandinavian corporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a 4-day work week and have increased the wages and annual paid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
of their employees. Owing to this, there has been great improvement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The Danes and the Norwegian youth are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, spending their vacations
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with their grandparents and cousins.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. The 21st century has observed prominent technological advancements, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media, mass immigration, professional growth, and educational competitions which have impacted close-knit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structures in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way, worldwide.
Even though
, familial relationship ties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, are not as strong as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in the past, we can always work together to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together. Both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals share this responsibility. Raising awareness and
Possible spelling mistake. 'realising' is British English.
realising
the seriousness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
connections and one's roots is the
first
crucial step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
matters. Reducing workload, increasing wages, granting more paid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gatherings and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
ensuring these implementations take place, can definitely bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together and strengthen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
bonds.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that students should study whatever they like. others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
574 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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