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Some people think that students should learn a range of practical skills at school (such as car maintenance or accountancy) alongside traditional subjects like maths and physics. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people think that students should learn a range of practical skills at school (such as car maintenance or accountancy) alongside traditional subjects like maths and physics. with this view? YARj
School life is the best time for learning and acquiring something unique and new. Many people consider that students in this life should acquire useful real life skill simultaneously with conventional subjects such as mathematics and physics. I totally disagree with this notion and will present my views regarding it. Undoubtedly, things learnt in childhood have permanent impression in our lives and one is able to imbibe much during this period. However, it does not mean that children should be overburdened with number of practical skills along with their usual subjects. Adding a range of skills would definitely add to the miseries of school going children. This is because of the fact that children are already doing a lot in the present era. For instance, on an average, the normal schedule of school students are studying long list of traditional subjects, participating in sports and co-curriculum activities, coping up with latest technological gadgets, doing home work, managing tuitions and maintaining discipline for long hours. Following such a stringent regime regularly leave no room for other special skills. Another probable reason for not learning car maintenance and accounting at the tender age would be the monotony of these skills. Childhood is said to be the period of having fun and free from elderly responsibilities. Introducing boring practical skills early during school times would take away the innocence and enjoyment of most of the students. They will no longer be able to see the beauty of life. Rather, they have to go through the harsh realities of life which may turn their life to a miserable one. Moreover, students should learn what is more important to them and would help them much in their later ages, that is, their traditional fundamental subjects. The concentration on mathematics, physics and other sciences will suffer when facing with more skills to learn. These subjects acts as a foundation stone for all students and sidelining these in the name of inculcating practicalities would darken the future of a child. In conclusion, practical skills at schools is not a viable option for students as it would cost much than giving benefits to the children. In fact, these skills is more convenient to learn in the employment years of an individual.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the best time for learning and acquiring something unique and new.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
should acquire useful real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
simultaneously
with conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as mathematics and physics. I
totally
disagree with this notion and will present my views regarding it.

Undoubtedly
, things
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in childhood have permanent impression in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and one is able to imbibe much during this period.
However
, it does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be overburdened
with number of practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
along with their usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Adding a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the miseries of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are already doing a lot in the present era.
For instance
, on an average, the normal schedule of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are studying long list of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, participating in sports and co-curriculum activities, coping up with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technological gadgets, doing home work, managing
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
and maintaining discipline for long hours. Following such a stringent regime
regularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
no room for other special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Another probable reason for not learning car maintenance and accounting at the tender age would be the monotony of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Childhood
is said
to be the period of having fun and free from elderly responsibilities. Introducing boring practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
early during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
times would take away the innocence and enjoyment of most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They will no longer be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the beauty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Rather
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go through the harsh realities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which may turn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to a miserable one.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn
what is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them much in their later ages,
that is
, their traditional fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. The concentration on mathematics, physics and other sciences will suffer when facing with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to learn. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You should probably use "act".
acts
as a foundation stone for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and sidelining these in the name of inculcating practicalities would darken the future of a child.

In conclusion
, practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is not a viable option for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as it would cost
Use "more" to make a comparison with this adjective.
much
than giving benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In fact, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is more convenient to learn in the employment years of an individual.
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IELTS essay Some people think that students should learn a range of practical skills at school (such as car maintenance or accountancy) alongside traditional subjects like maths and physics. with this view?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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