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Modern high technology is transforming the way we work and is benefit to all of society.Do you agree or disagree?

Modern high technology is transforming the way we work and is benefit to all of society. 51BV
The power and emergence of high technology continuously affects the lives of many people and is changing the way they work. I am of the view that this phenomenon brings welfare to the society. Transitionally, people in the past used their bare hands to accomplished some task like cooking, washing as well as sewing clothes, but it is now replaced with new machinery. This enables an individual to finish a complex task at a lesser time and enhance their lifestyle. For instance, clothes manufacturers uses sewing machine to produce better and larger quantities of products at a lower production cost. As a result, customers benefits because machine clothes are quite cheaper than handmade clothes. Furthermore, it also aids to improve the economy of the nation. Technology is very useful in various sectors sectors. In the modern time, it helps people for a better and efficient way of working, which resulted to greater production, good amount of result and time saving. This technique allows businesses to attract customers and gives opportunity for the government to generate more revenue in the form of taxes which can be utilized for further development of the country. Finally, communication and transportation has been upgraded by technology. People could get connected to each other through the use of Telephone and the Internet in which they could even see faces of people living from other nation. Likewise, a person can now travel from one place to another by riding a vehicle like car, motorcycle and even airplane in a short span of time. This evolution of technology has made people live and work comfortably and conveniently. To recapitulate, technology has brought drastic change in people's working style for it saves a plethora of time, energy and money. It also helps in greater economic development of the country.
The power and emergence of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
continuously
affects the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and is changing the way they work. I am of the view that this phenomenon brings welfare to the society.

Transitionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their bare hands
Did you mean "to accomplish"?
to accomplished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "tasks"?
task
like cooking, washing
as well
as sewing clothes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
replaced with new machinery. This enables an individual to finish a complex task at a lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and enhance their lifestyle.
For instance
, clothes manufacturers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
sewing machine to produce better and larger quantities of products at a lower production cost.
As a result
, customers benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
machine clothes are quite cheaper than handmade clothes.

Furthermore
, it
also
aids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of the nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful in various
Possible typo: you repeated a word
sectors sectors
. In the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for a better and efficient way of working, which resulted to greater production,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of result and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving. This technique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
businesses to attract customers and gives opportunity for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to generate more revenue in the form of taxes which can
be utilized
for
further
development of the country.

Finally
, communication and transportation has
been upgraded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
connected to each other through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Telephone and the Internet in which they could even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
faces of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living from other nation.
Likewise
, a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
travel from one place to another by riding a vehicle like car, motorcycle and even airplane in a short span of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This evolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work
comfortably
and
conveniently
.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has brought drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's working style for it saves a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, energy and money. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in greater economic development of the country.
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IELTS essay Modern high technology is transforming the way we work and is benefit to all of society.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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