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Some people think that sports stars are paid too much for what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that sports stars are paid too much for what they do. LwDMG
It is common thought that salaries paid to well-known athletes are excessively high. To a certain extent, I agree that sports professionals receive too much money, however, I also believe that it is reasonable to pay a certain amount to athletes. On the one hand, I would agree that the salaries for sports players are too high. In other words, they have significantly less involvement with society compared to other people like doctors and teachers. In fact, football players earn enormous salaries by simply kicking a ball, while teachers only have lower incomes. For instance, doctors have tremendous responsibilities to help and cure patients, which would be more beneficial for everyone in society than other professionals as they do not provide a vital service. Therefore, the money paid to famous athletes for their performance in just sports competitions is too much compared to their contribution. Nevertheless, I would think that it is fair that eminent sportspeople earn a lot of money since they have immensely contributed to the community. Sports is a multi-million-pound industry because there is a large audience of sports fans who are willing to pay money. In addition, televised games or events attract many viewers so that it has an influence on viewers. A famous athlete introduces a new product or the way to cook a dish, viewers are likely to follow and buy something introduced by him, for example. However, being a top sports person requires hours of practice and has difficulties. Hence, the salaries paid to well-known athletes are trustworthy. In conclusion, many professional services have a more considerable contribution to society than sports, however, salaries paid to sports stars should be acceptable because of their deserving donation.
It is common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are
excessively
high. To a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionals receive too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
however
, I
also
believe that it is reasonable to pay a certain amount to athletes.

On the one hand, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players are too high.
In other words
, they have
significantly
less involvement with society compared to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like doctors and teachers. In fact, football players earn enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
by
simply
kicking a ball, while teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have lower incomes.
For instance
, doctors have tremendous responsibilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and cure patients, which would be more beneficial for everyone in society than other professionals as they do not provide a vital service.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
for their performance in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
competitions is too much compared to their contribution.

Nevertheless
, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
that eminent sportspeople earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
since they have
immensely
contributed to the community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
is a multi-million-pound industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a large audience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
fans who are willing to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In addition
, televised games or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
viewers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it has an influence on viewers. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
introduces a new product or the way to cook a dish, viewers are likely to follow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something introduced by him,
for example
.
However
, being a top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person requires hours of practice and has difficulties.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
are trustworthy.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professional services have a more considerable contribution to society than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "sport".
sports
stars should be acceptable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their deserving donation.
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IELTS essay Some people think that sports stars are paid too much for what they do.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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