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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. o079
There is always a debate upon the issue of spending money on marriages, parties and many other occasions are waste of money or useful. Some people are against it, while others are in the favor of this. In this essay i will discuss both these aspects as well as my opinion. People who are saying that it is useful for them and for the society have some views. First of all, By investing money on these ceremonies will provide lot of job opportunities. Workers such as carters, waiters and money more will get a chance to earn some money. Secondly, the benefit the society will get is that it connects them to their traditions and they can also get together with their relatives and friends which ultimately lead to peace in the society. In other words, People will understand each other views and the importance of the particular festival or occasion they are celebrating. on the other hand, If I consider the view, that it is a wastage of money then the major reason i have is that People in Asian countries are living the life in poverty and if Rich use their money for them instead of spending at parties then this will show some humanity. Moreover, By throwing these lavishing also affects the resources such as food, plastic, Flowers and many more. These all get waste after the parties and this increase the pollution. To conclude, This essay discussed the view that why Spending money on parties is beneficial for society and how it is a source of income for some people. And also discussed why it is impacting the economy and creating environmental pollution.
There is always a debate upon the issue of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on marriages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
occasions are waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or useful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are against it, while others are in the favor of this. In this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss both these aspects
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
my opinion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are saying that it is useful for them and for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, By investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these ceremonies will provide
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
job opportunities. Workers such as carters, waiters and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
more will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Secondly
, the benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
is that it connects them to their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
traditions and
they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together with their relatives and friends which
ultimately
lead to peace in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
and the importance of the particular festival or occasion they are celebrating.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, If I consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, that it is a wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
then the major reason
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in Asian countries are living the life in poverty and if Rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for them
instead
of spending at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
then this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
humanity.
Moreover
, By throwing these lavishing
also
affects the resources such as food, plastic, Flowers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. These all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
waste after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
and this increase the pollution.
To conclude
, This essay discussed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that why Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and how it is a source of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. And
also
discussed why it is impacting the economy and creating environmental pollution.

IELTS essay Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
277 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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