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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. e6Xx
In today's time, people spend a lot on organizing various parties for weddings and birthdays etc. Most people believe that is essential for individuals and society, while others find it a waste of money in their opinion. Personally, I reckon that celebrations should be limited. It is known that ordinary people spend huge sum of money to celebrate parties, such as weddings, birthdays and graduation etc. Consequently, they can face shortage of money after the celebrations. The best example is Central Asia, where individuals take loans and credits from banks in order to celebrate parties. Furthermore, such parties can lead to unhealthy lifestyle. That is to say, not controlling your diet can lead to the deterioration of well-being. To illustrate, a number party animals are suffering from diseases relating to their digestion. On the other hand, such parties are known to be beneficial for the people and the society they live in. It can create a new community. It is widely admissible that if individuals spend their time at the parties, they can communicate with other people. As a result, they can develop their soft skills. For instance, the community can get a benefit from these communications, due to the fact it can lead to the prosperity. Secondly, the parties can leave good memories. The essential thing is that individuals get various emotions and enjoyment. For example, numerous people can feel sadness, when they are graduated from the universities or schools. In conclusion, although such celebrations bring joy and amusement to everyone, in my opinion, these parties and celebrations should be limited. In addition, it can create a number of problems for the health
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a lot on organizing various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
for weddings and birthdays etc. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
that is
essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and society, while others find it a waste of money in their opinion.
Personally
, I reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
should
be limited
. It
is known
that ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend huge sum of money to celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
, such as weddings, birthdays and graduation etc.
Consequently
, they can face shortage of money after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
. The best example is Central Asia, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
take loans and credits from banks in order to celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
.
Furthermore
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
can lead to unhealthy lifestyle.
That is
to say, not controlling your diet can lead to the deterioration of well-being. To illustrate, a number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
animals are suffering from diseases relating to their digestion.
On the other hand
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
are known
to be beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the society they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. It can create a new community. It is
widely
admissible that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
spend their time at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
, they can communicate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, they can develop their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, the community can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a benefit from these communications, due to the fact it can lead to the prosperity.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
memories. The essential thing is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
various emotions and enjoyment.
For example
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can feel sadness, when they
are graduated
from the universities or schools.
In conclusion
, although such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
bring joy and amusement to everyone, in my opinion, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
should
be limited
.
In addition
, it can create a number of problems for the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
health

IELTS essay Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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