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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Otherhowever, think that there are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. s, v.9

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Otherhowever, think that there are necessary for individuals and the society. s, v. 9
In the recent era, where the majority of folks around the globe are spending heavily on big occasions of their life. Some people opine that it is a shared waste of funds, however, other believe that it is important to spend cash to make those big occasions memorable in their life. In this essay, I will discuss both the perspectives and provide my opinion. There are numerous reasons behind celebrating the events in a bigger way. Firstly, as marriage is considered a big event in everyone's life and hence, the majority of the people around the world don't want to miss this opportunity to celebrate it in a grand style. Secondly, many people believe that it is very crucial to celebrate their birthday with the near and dear one's, as it is the day when their soul gets a physical body. For instance, in a recent survey in India, it has been observed that people spend a huge amount of cash for celebration events like wedding, marriage anniversary and Birthdays. On the other side, the opponents of spending huge funds on events say that it is a shared wastage of income and the same can be used for various purposes. Firstly, the money saved from these events can be used for funding the education of needy students. Then, instead of throwing lavish birthday parties, people should go to old age homes and help the senior citizens in getting things that they are using in their daily routine. Furthermore, such funds can also be used for charity work. For instance, in a recent case where a leading businessman from Surat celebrated her daughter's marriage in a simple way and inviting poor folks who don't even have a one time meal to eat. To conclude, In my opinion, although, it is important to make the major events memorable by spending some money, but, at the same it is also crucial not to spend more income and to help the charity work with the saved money.
In the recent era, where the majority of folks around the globe are spending
heavily
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
occasions of their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that it is a shared waste of funds,
however
, other believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend cash to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
occasions memorable in their life. In this essay, I will discuss both the perspectives and provide my opinion.

There are numerous reasons behind celebrating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in a bigger way.
Firstly
, as marriage
is considered
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in everyone's life and
hence
, the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world don't want to miss this opportunity to celebrate it
Consider replacing "in a grand style" with the adverb for "grand"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a grand style
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to celebrate their birthday with the near and dear one's, as it is the day when their soul
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a physical body.
For instance
, in a recent survey in India, it has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a huge amount of cash for celebration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like wedding,
Wedding anniversaries are the proper term to describe the anniversary of the day of a wedding.
marriage
anniversary and Birthdays.

On the other side, the opponents of spending huge funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
say that it is a shared wastage of income and the same can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for various purposes.
Firstly
, the money saved from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for funding the education of needy students. Then,
instead
of throwing lavish birthday parties,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the senior citizens in getting things that they are using in their daily routine.
Furthermore
, such funds can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for charity work.
For instance
, in a recent case where a leading businessman from Surat celebrated her daughter's marriage
Consider replacing "in a simple way" with the adverb for "simple"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a simple way
and inviting poor folks who don't even have a one time meal to eat.

To conclude
, In my opinion, although, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
memorable by spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, at the same it is
also
crucial not to spend more income and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the charity work with the saved money.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Otherhowever, think that there are necessary for individuals and the society. s, v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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