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Some people think that song lyrics which glorify violence and criminal lifestyle should be banned ? This is statement merits and demerits ?

Some people think that song lyrics which glorify violence and criminal lifestyle should be banned? This is statement merits and demerits? n1qnE
Some people think that song lyrics which glorify violence and criminal lifestyle should be banned. From my prospective, I believe that this should be banned because youngsters is watch criminal activity through the song and they copy to criminal activity in real life and that is why merits are more than demerits. To commence with the considering topic deeply the most endorsing point that thesedays, youngsters are using more social sites because there are so many things o social sites so that children watch or listen bad programs in their life and they try to copy in real life and this time they face problems in their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that song lyrics which glorify violence and criminal lifestyle should
be banned
. From my prospective, I believe that this should
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
youngsters is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
criminal activity through the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
song and
they copy to criminal activity in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
that is
why merits are more than demerits. To commence with the considering topic
deeply
the most endorsing point that
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
, youngsters are using more social sites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things o social sites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
or listen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
programs in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they try to copy in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and this time they face problems in their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life

IELTS essay Some people think that song lyrics which glorify violence and criminal lifestyle should be banned? This is statement merits and demerits?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
107 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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