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Some people think that self-development is more important than any kind of training provided by different institutions. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why?

Some people think that self-development is more important than any kind of training provided by different institutions. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why? kYRwM
In today’s challenging world one needs to be mentally and physically strong and developed to stay competitive. Numerous people think that self-development is a waste of time and they belive trainigs provided by formal institutions can contribute to form personality. I totally disagree and think that Self-improvement, self-awareness and advancement contributes to one’s willing pursue life goals. Firstly, I consider that a good citizen should be helpful to others. To fulfil that desire one needs to be mentally and physically strong, determined, responsible and punctual. These skills are worked out by self-development. For example when I got involved in non-governmental organizations, I learned numerous essential things from experienced people and developed my own skills and after that, I could lead others and show the right path and solution of problems. Decisive and self-confident people take pride in helping others and therefore the whole society benefits from that. Secondly, you cannot be happy without being aware of your own strength and weaknesses. Self-development means self-satisfaction that cannot be achieved by formal trainings and courses. Ach you how to enjoy with personal achievements. To conclude, I believe that self-development is a vital part of our life. I absolutely share the saying that formal education will make you living, but Self -education will make you a fortune. It is a process that leads to forming the best version of ourselves.
In
today
’s challenging world one needs to be mentally and
physically
strong and developed to stay competitive. Numerous
people
think
that self-development is a waste of
time and
they belive
trainigs
provided by formal institutions can contribute to form personality. I
totally
disagree and
think
that Self-improvement, self-awareness and advancement contributes to one’s willing pursue life goals.

Firstly
, I consider that a
good
citizen should be helpful to others. To fulfil that desire one needs to be mentally and
physically
strong, determined, responsible and punctual. These
skills
are worked
out by self-development.
For example
when I
got
involved in non-governmental organizations, I learned numerous essential things from experienced
people
and developed my
own
skills
and after that, I could lead others and
show
the right path and solution of problems. Decisive and self-confident
people
take pride in helping others and
therefore
the whole society benefits from that.

Secondly
, you cannot be happy without being aware of your
own
strength and weaknesses. Self-development means self-satisfaction that cannot
be achieved
by formal trainings and courses.
Ach
you how to enjoy with personal achievements.

To conclude
, I believe that self-development is a vital part of our life. I
absolutely
share the saying that formal education will
make
you living,
but
Self -education will
make
you a fortune.

It is a process that leads to forming the best version of ourselves.
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IELTS essay Some people think that self-development is more important than any kind of training provided by different institutions. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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