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In contemporary society, everyone should have equal opportunities in education. Therefore, universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Do you agree or disagree?

In contemporary society, everyone should have equal opportunities in education. Therefore, universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. 7aA16
Nowadays university studies are widely distributed and every year millions of applicants try to enroll. Many people believe that equal gender ratio is crucial in education. However, I consider that enrollment of students should not be based on gender perspective. First of all, idea of equal number of male and female accepted to study in university can be not conforming to the idea of equal opportunities. In other words, women can prefer one field of study more than men, thus equal number of places might be not rightly. Assessing level of students’ knowledge should not depend on gender. It is better to take into consideration aspects such as talent, ambition and intelligence. Furthermore, there is a difference between men and women in their capabilities. For instance, male is more physically strong than female due to physiological factors. Definitely there can be exceptions, but in generally men choose occupations which require physical labor such as fireman, builder etc. more than women. Survey among students in 2019 had shown that women choose faculty of design approximately two times more than men which in turn mostly prefer faculty of engineering. For example, if number of place was similar, some place for one gender would remain without enough number of students, whereas for another gender places would be in a shortage. To sum up everything that has been stated so far, dividing students regarding to only gender is inequitably. In order to ensure equal rights and opportunities for everyone, gender should not be included into evaluation criteria.
Nowadays university studies are
widely
distributed and every year millions of applicants try to enroll.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
gender ratio is crucial in education.
However
, I consider that enrollment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not
be based
on gender perspective.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male and female
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to study in university can be not conforming to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
opportunities.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can prefer one field of study more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
might be not
rightly
. Assessing level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
knowledge should not depend on gender. It is better to take into consideration aspects such as talent, ambition and intelligence.

Furthermore
, there is a difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in their capabilities.
For instance
, male is more
physically
strong than female due to physiological factors. Definitely there can be exceptions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
generally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
choose occupations which require physical labor such as fireman, builder etc. more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Survey among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2019 had shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
choose faculty of design approximately two times more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
which in turn
mostly
prefer faculty of engineering.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
was similar,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for one gender would remain without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, whereas for another gender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
would be in a shortage.

To sum up everything that has
been stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, dividing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gender is
inequitably
. In order to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
rights and opportunities for everyone, gender should not
be included
into evaluation criteria.
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IELTS essay In contemporary society, everyone should have equal opportunities in education. Therefore, universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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