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https://ielts69.com/essay/some-people-think-that-spending-a-lot-on-holding-wedding-parties-birthday-parties-and-other-celebrations-is-just-11

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Today, everyone like to celebrate special events with friends, family, loved ones and others. most of individual believed that spending a lot of money on that events which are everyone like to enjoy in his life. people thought that its unnecessary uses of money. however others say its compulsory to all who live in the society and local people. This essay will discuss both sides but I support that this is necessary like to celebrating special events in the community. firstly, celebrations are essential part of our life. people believing that spends lots of money on events which are no uses in their life. its waste of money. because these types programmers have no profits its unusable wastes of products, create a noises and others things. for example, Indian citizens spending a lot of money specially on marriage. different types of foods, dessert, drinks and other things. Individual do not eat properly and through out the foods in the garbage's. They would spend money just for show off. they spend the money on these people who are really need it like poor people who have no foods, disturbing clothes and others. however, many individuals believe that its important to spend money on that events which are play a crucial role in our life because these are not celebrating every year. its enjoy on special day. for instance, in big cities, local people are inviting special guests and get together. they spread a happiness with them and enjoying a program. they give a blessing and support to them. its important specially who are live in society. they gives a party because they want to come in the happiness and enjoy. To conclusion, according to my opinion, these are important for people and communities. I strongly believed that these events spread a happiness and enjoy with them. but others say spend a money on these events its wastes of money. its not good use of money.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, everyone like to celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
with friends, family,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Consider using "most individual" or "most of the individual".
most of individual
believed that spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
which are everyone like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that its unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
others say its compulsory to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the society and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay will discuss both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I support that this is necessary like to celebrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in the community.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, celebrations are essential part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
believing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
which are no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
its
waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
these types programmers have no profits its unusable wastes of products, create a noises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, Indian citizens spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
specially
on marriage.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
different
types of foods, dessert, drinks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things. Individual do not eat
properly
and
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the foods in the garbage's. They would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
really
Consider using a past participle here: "needed".
need
it like poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no foods, disturbing clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals believe that
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
which are play a crucial role in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are not celebrating every year.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inviting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
guests and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
spread a happiness with them and enjoying a program.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
give a blessing and support to them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
specially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: "give".
gives
a party
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in the happiness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
. To conclusion, according to my opinion, these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and communities. I
strongly
believed that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
spread a happiness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
with them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
others say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
its wastes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
its
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay https: //ielts69. com/essay/some-people-think-that-spending-a-lot-on-holding-wedding-parties-birthday-parties-and-other-celebrations-is-just-11

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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