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Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.12

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. v. 12
In the era of advancement, for any sport, a person should fit physically as well as mentally. Some folks consider the physical strength more necessary for success, however others think that the mental health is more important to get success in any sport. This essay will discuss both the point of views in detail. To begin with, the persons who are in the favour of that the physical fitness is much more important than mental have a valid reason for that. They think that physical fitness is essential in some of the sports, because few wants the physical fitness in order to obtain the profit. For example, in a wrestling, the physical health is one of the most effective factors that will decide the winner and loser for any competition. Also, in cricket too, if a player wants to win the match than he/she has to take the runs as much as possible. These are some of the games which required the physical strength to achieve the fame. On the other hand, some people admit that mental strength is an important factor for some sports. They believe that if a person is mentally strong enough, it will be easy for that to get the winner tag. For instance, in the golf, it is not necessary for the players to stay physically fit, because it is the game of mind. Indeed, in the casino, if the player has an outstanding mind's ability, then he/she can win the game easily. To conclude, it is very important to have mental and physical power to achieve the prosperity. In my opinion, I am an absolutely agree that the both have their own importance, and both are entirely necessary to get the success.
In the era of advancement, for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, a person should fit
physically
as well
as mentally.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
folks consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength more necessary for success,
however
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. This essay will discuss both the point of views in detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the persons who are in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness is much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
have a valid reason for that. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness is essential in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
few wants the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness in order to obtain the profit.
For example
, in a wrestling, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health is one of the most effective factors that will decide the winner and loser for any competition.
Also
, in cricket too, if a player wants to win the match than he/she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take the runs as much as possible. These are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
games which required the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
strength to achieve the fame.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
strength is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. They believe that if a person is mentally strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, it will be easy for that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the winner tag.
For instance
, in the golf, it is not necessary for the players to stay
physically
fit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the game of mind.
Indeed
, in the casino, if the player has an outstanding mind's ability, then he/she can win the game
easily
.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
power to achieve the prosperity. In my opinion, I am an
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance, and both are
entirely
necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the success.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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