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Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Over the last few decades, it cannot be denied that there have been numerous improvements in world’s teaching system. While a huge number of people today hold the view that schools should give awards to outstanding students, I would also argue that it would be better to encourage pupils who reveal their progressive advancements. On the one hand, it is crystal clear that rewarding brilliant students would benefit not only in the short term but also in the future. Those who advocate this view feel that there will be a competitive atmosphere in one’s school providing that governments and schools encourage pupils who show the best academic results. He or she, for instance, may allocate a great deal of their time acquiring unknown knowledge for the purpose of winning the award. Furthermore, each school may spend their resources to expenditure on priority items such as improving the quality of teachers just for the sake of providing data which is new for students. Finally, in the long term, these excellent students might achieve a huge success in their careers and become stars in the world of work. Then perhaps they would return to support their old schools. On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial to encourage students who show improvements. Firstly, in the short term, majority of students will make a great effort to gain more information in lieu of having a sedentary lifestyle as a result of rewarding them. For this reason, there will be a dramatic change in education, and there will be only “better” pupils. Secondly, in the long term, this action would enhance the general quality of the whole workforce. To conclude, in spite of the fact that it would be better to solely give awards to outstanding students, I hold the perception that rewarding students who are better day by day is the best way for the reasons that I have mentioned above.
Over the last few decades, it cannot
be denied
that there have been numerous improvements in world’s teaching system. While a huge number of
people
today
hold the view that
schools
should give awards to outstanding
students
, I would
also
argue that it would be
better
to encourage pupils
who
reveal their progressive advancements.

On the one hand, it is crystal
clear
that rewarding brilliant
students
would benefit not
only
in the short
term
but
also
in the future. Those
who
advocate this view feel that there will be a competitive atmosphere in one’s
school
providing that
governments
and
schools
encourage pupils
who
show
the best academic results. He or she,
for instance
, may allocate a great deal of their time acquiring unknown knowledge for the purpose of winning the award.
Furthermore
, each
school
may spend their resources to expenditure on priority items such as improving the quality of teachers
just
for the sake of providing data which is new for
students
.
Finally
, in the long
term
, these excellent
students
might achieve a huge success in their careers and become stars in the world of work. Then perhaps they would return to support their
old
schools.

On the other hand
, I believe that it is more beneficial to encourage
students
who
show
improvements.
Firstly
, in the short
term
,
majority of
students
will
make
a great effort to gain more information in lieu of having a sedentary lifestyle
as a result
of rewarding them.
For this reason
, there will be a dramatic
change
in education, and there will be
only
“better”
pupils.
Secondly
, in the long
term
, this action would enhance the general quality of the whole workforce.

To conclude
,
in spite of
the fact that it would be
better
to
solely
give awards to outstanding
students
, I hold the perception that rewarding
students
who
are
better
day by day is the best way for the reasons that I have mentioned above.
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IELTS essay Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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