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Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the marriageable age should be increased to 21 years. Personally. I partly agree with this statement. On the one hand, 21 is the age that people can become mature physically and their mental can grow enough to taken the responsibility for an entire family. People can have lots of life experiences to protect and improve their family. They may look after their children more carefully. It can reduce the rate of divorce in young age group. In addition, people could have the financial sustainability. It is the solid foundation for a happy family. Money is not everything but money is something very important in family. Financial stability ensure that they can avoid conflict and do not fall victim to money stress or mental disorders. When parents have money. they can help their children to have a good life. On the other hand, increasing the age of marriage to 21 years can have badly effects. People tend to delay their marriage. Because they can feel unconfident and worried that if they do not prepare enough, they can not have a good family. It can due to " gamophobia" which is the fear marriage in young group. Moreover, when people delay their marriages, it can decrease the quality of population. Because their newborn babies can face to birth defects or some congenital diseases and older mom can face a higher risk than younger mom of giving birth to babies. In conclusion, with all benefits and drawbacks, I suggest that the government should be considered the increasing the legal age to 21 years.
Some
people
believe that the marriageable
age
should
be increased
to 21 years.
Personally
. I partly
agree
with this statement.

On the one hand, 21 is the
age
that
people
can become mature
physically
and their mental can grow
enough
to
taken
the responsibility for an entire
family
.
People
can have lots of life experiences to protect and
improve
their
family
. They may look after their children more
carefully
. It can
reduce
the rate of divorce in young
age
group.
In addition
,
people
could have the financial sustainability. It is the solid foundation for a happy
family
.
Money
is not everything
but
money
is something
very
important
in
family
. Financial stability ensure that they can avoid conflict and do not fall victim to
money
stress
or mental disorders. When parents have
money
.
they
can
help
their children to have a
good
life.

On the other hand
, increasing the
age
of
marriage
to 21 years can have
badly
effects.
People
tend to delay their
marriage
.
Because
they can feel unconfident and worried that if they do not prepare
enough
, they can not have a
good
family
. It can due to
"
gamophobia
"
which is the fear
marriage
in young group.
Moreover
, when
people
delay their
marriages
, it can decrease the quality of population.
Because
their newborn babies can face to birth defects or
some
congenital diseases and older mom can face a higher
risk
than younger mom of giving birth to babies.

In conclusion
, with all benefits and drawbacks, I suggest that the
government
should
be considered
the increasing the legal
age
to 21 years.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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