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Some people think that school students should learn the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on other more important subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that school students should learn the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on other more important subjects. GmYg
Although it is sometimes thought that the science of food and the preparation of them ought to be taught to school pupils, other people believe that spending pupils’ time on more essential topics is necessary. In my opinion, I consider that learning more critical science such as maths or data science could help children in their future life. On the one hand, a number of people think that students who learn food science at schools can cope with an extraordinary situation such as a shortage. In other words, learning and preparing about vital food knowledge supports children to excel in their daily tasks especially in challenging situations like covid-19 lockdown. For instance, lots of people scared of this situation during the pandemic but other ones were able to deal with their fears easily. And they prepared their own foods and dishes. Furthermore, doing something on their own particularly basic needs like that boosts your confidence substantially. On the other hand, it is often believed that other crucial subjects such as data science, maths so on are more important than food science for school students due to the fact that, as people, we will live in a digital world in the not-too-distant future and I agree. Should children learn this type of crucial topic, they will have a marvellous opportunity to find a place in the job market in their career. Another reason why this type of skill is useful for children is that learning maths, physics, and so on could develop children's brains significantly and they gain new approaches to solve critical problems rapidly. In conclusion, while people may vary their opinions, I think that school pupils stand a better chance to succeed both in their professional and private life with skills in more significant sciences.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and the preparation of them ought to
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
pupils,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that spending pupils’ time on more essential topics is necessary. In my opinion, I consider that learning more critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
or data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their future life.

On the one hand, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that students who learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can cope with an extraordinary situation such as a shortage. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, learning and preparing about vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
knowledge supports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to excel in their daily tasks
especially
in challenging situations like
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
lockdown.
For instance
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
scared of this situation during the pandemic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ones were able to deal with their fears
easily
. And they prepared their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and dishes.
Furthermore
, doing something on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
particularly
basic needs like that boosts your confidence
substantially
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
crucial subjects such as data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students due to the fact that, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a digital world in the not-too-distant future and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. Should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn this type of crucial topic, they will have a
Possible spelling mistake. 'marvellous' is British English.
marvellous
opportunity to find a place in the job market in their career. Another reason why this type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, physics, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on could develop children's brains
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
significantly and
they gain new approaches to solve critical problems
rapidly
.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
pupils stand a better chance to succeed both in their professional and private life with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in more significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that school students should learn the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on other more important subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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