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Despite a variety of sports facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Despite a variety of sports facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest? 7ewb
Although the fact that the number of special facilities that help people to become fit increased, the population is not fit enough. According to the research made in the United States, the main cause of this situation is the sedentary lifestyle and GM food consumption. To solve this problem, the government of the country under discussion, decided to advertise, increase the popularity of these kinds of facilities, as well as decrease the fees for sports complexes. The main causes of this problem, as it was mentioned above are the sedentary lifestyle and GM food consumption as well. As the cost of living is very high, some people work two jobs and consume GM food to save time. It is scientifically proven that this kind of food contains a lot of harmful chemicals, such as fertilizers that can cause different health problems, such as obesity, diabetes, and even cancer. Also, people now are overloaded with a lot of domestic chores and jobs that they even do not have time and the willingness for going to the gym and training their muscles. To solve the problem under discussion, the governments of certain countries can advertise and try to popularize the sports facilities as well as decrease the fees for the gyms. Either government or some private companies may try to advertise gyms and try to propagandize them in order to increase the number of people wanting to train their muscles there. The marketing strategy of the gyms may help certain individuals to increase their motivation for training their muscles. Moreover, some of these facilities may decrease the fees of the service for people who are not able to pay those fees. Some people think that the gym may become a serious financial burden for them. To conclude, it should be highlighted that the problem of lack of people who are not fit has its causes. Also, there are some ways of solving, as well as methods and strategies that can bring to the solution of the problems.
Although the fact that the number of special facilities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become fit increased, the population is not fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. According to the research made in the United States, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of this situation is the sedentary lifestyle and GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption. To solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the country under discussion, decided to advertise, increase the popularity of these kinds of facilities, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
for sports complexes.

The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, as it
was mentioned
above are the sedentary lifestyle and GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. As the cost of living is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work two jobs and consume GM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to save time. It is
scientifically
proven that this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
harmful chemicals, such as fertilizers that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, such as obesity, diabetes, and even cancer.
Also
,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are overloaded
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
domestic chores and jobs that they even do not have time and the willingness for going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
and training their muscles.

To solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
under discussion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of certain countries can advertise and try to popularize the sports facilities as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
. Either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may try to advertise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
and try to propagandize them in order to increase the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wanting to train their muscles there. The marketing strategy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
certain individuals to increase their motivation for training their muscles.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these facilities may decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
of the service for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not able to pay those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
may become a serious financial burden for them.

To conclude
, it should
be highlighted
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not fit has its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
.
Also
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways of solving, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as methods and strategies that can bring to the solution of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
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IELTS essay Despite a variety of sports facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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