Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In education and employment some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

In education and employment some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard? rw9L
When it comes to study or work, some individuals like to give more effort compare to others. This essay will first discuss why some people put extra effort than others and it will also discuss is it beneficial for them or not. To begin with, when studying few students work hard than others. They believe it will help them to achieve a good academic result. Those who have good academic records definitely get some advantage in the job market. Now-a-days most of the companies want to hire people who scored 70% or 80% during their student life. For example, most of the private banks in my country do not offer jobs to students who have an academic result of less than 70%. Similarly working hard on jobs helps some individuals to get a higher salary or a promotion. In this competitive world companies wants employees who can work hard for the organization and helps them to achieve their goals. For instance, garment workers in my country do some overtime duty so that they can earn some extra money at the end of the month. With regard to the question working hard is always a good thing or not, I think it is. End of the day those who work hard they get some benefit as well. For example, people like Bill Gates or Elon Musk are the richest persons in the world just because of their hard work and dedication towards success. Similarly there are many persons in the entire world who are leading a miserable life because they did not work hard in their life. Finally the world is very competitive right now. So those who want to achieve something in their life or want to lead a successful life they must work hard and put some extra efforts to achieve their targets.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals like to give more effort compare to others. This essay will
first
discuss why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
put extra effort than others and it will
also
discuss is it beneficial for them or not.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when studying few students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Use "harder" to make a comparison with this adjective.
hard
than others. They believe it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic result. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic records definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantage in the job market.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
-a-days most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to hire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
scored 70% or 80% during their student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, most of the private banks in my country do not offer jobs to students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have an academic result of less than 70%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
on jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher salary or a promotion. In this competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
for the organization and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their goals.
For instance
, garment workers in my country do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
overtime duty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra money at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month.

With regard to the question working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
is always a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing or not, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
End
of the day those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefit
as well
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like Bill Gates or Elon Musk are the richest persons in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and dedication towards success.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
persons in the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are leading a miserable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in their life.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
something in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to lead a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra efforts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their targets.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In education and employment some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts