Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. lA3D
Students are the pillars of the country and the hope of tomorrow. It is no longer uncommon to witness the scholars devote their time and make sacrifices to study for the sake of scoring a desirable results. Some people suggest that honour should be bestow upon to students who attain results with flying colours, while others claim that it is more crucial to provide recognition to students who display enhancement in their studies. Apparently, top-notch school pupils are often dragged into special attentions by the educators and even by their peers. These are the people who can acquire excellent results, and rewards are usually bestowed upon them for their erudition and attainments. It is evident that the provision of reward for students who attain remarkable academic results is essential as they will take it as tributes and seemingly, compliments oil the wheels of life. With that being said, it will galvanise them into working harder and set higher expectations for themselves on the upcoming examinations thereby unswerving determination yet insurmountable students can be fostered. This is of upmost importance as the countries' burgeoning industries depends on these pupils for further advancement and the monumental efforts they put in will be emulated by their peers. A creation of a positive competitive environment is inevitably important as a person cannot improve by just mooching off of the success of other people. While it is irrefutable that students who attain superb grade should be incentivised, it is equivalently essential to provide recognition to students who have sheer determination in making improvements in studies albeit rather slowly. Most of the time, a minority of students have their natural endowments undiscovered or they could not seek the finest method to study effectively. Hence, it is very crucial to show supports by granting them reward as a form of recognition of their hard work despite they are not the top in the class. The ostensible goal is to acknowledge their absolute efforts, but the real aim is to evade them to add to their feelings of inferiority which can dampen their enthusiasm in studies. Moreover, it is possible for a once unrated student in class to transcend the top students when there is something, in this case the reward that can compel them into studying diligently. In conclusion, my stance is that the educators should give a fair recognition and attention to all the students in class regardless of their achievements as students deserve to be adored and praised to make the grade.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are the pillars of the country and the hope of tomorrow. It is no longer

uncommon to witness the scholars devote their time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sacrifices to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for the sake of scoring a desirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
should be
Consider using the past participle "bestowed"?
bestow
upon to students

who attain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
with flying
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
, while others claim that it is more crucial to provide

recognition to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
display enhancement in their studies.

Apparently
, top-notch school pupils are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
dragged into special attentions by the

educators and even by their peers. These are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can acquire excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
, and

rewards are
usually
bestowed upon them for their erudition and attainments. It is evident that the

provision of reward for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attain remarkable academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
is essential as they will

take it as tributes and
seemingly
, compliments oil the wheels of life. With that
being said
, it will

Possible spelling mistake. 'galvanise' is British English.
galvanise
them into working harder and set higher expectations for themselves on the upcoming

examinations thereby unswerving determination
yet
insurmountable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
be fostered
.

This is of upmost importance as the countries' burgeoning industries depends on these pupils for

further
advancement and the monumental efforts they put in will
be emulated
by their peers. A

creation of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
competitive environment is
inevitably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as a person cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve


by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
mooching off of the success of other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

While it is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attain superb grade should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'incentivised' is British English.
incentivised
, it is

equivalently
essential to provide recognition to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have sheer determination in making

improvements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
albeit
rather
slowly
. Most of the time, a minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have their

natural endowments
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
undiscovered or
they could not seek the finest method to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
effectively
.

Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
supports by granting them reward as a form of recognition of

their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work despite they are not the top in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. The ostensible goal is to acknowledge

their absolute efforts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the real aim is to evade them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to their feelings of inferiority which

can dampen their enthusiasm in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Moreover
, it is possible for a once unrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to transcend the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when there is something,
in this case
the reward that can

compel them into studying
diligently
.

In conclusion
, my stance is that the educators should give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
recognition and attention to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
regardless of their achievements as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
deserve to
be adored
and praised to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the grade.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
417 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts