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Some people think that reward deserved who is good in academic results. But other think that it is important who improvement.

Some people think that reward deserved who is good in academic results. But other think that it is important who improvement. 3EOw
Advances in medical science are resulting in prolonged lifespans but there is a knock-on effect for public health services with many hospitals struggling to cope with an aging populace. Many countries enjoy the benefits of free or subsidised national public health services. However, there are some within senior health management who claim that such provision will become unsustainable, and I firmly agree that changes need to be made in order to reflect this changing reality. Despite the notion that healthcare should be 'free', such care is predominantly funded by the taxpayer. To give a specific example, a recent report in my country established that almost 40% of the nation’s tax spending is distributed to healthcare and some 80% of that figure is reserved for treating the elderly. This is a disproportionate amount of money which has greatly increased the burden on the state and existing funding is no longer sufficient to meet these needs. This is turn impacts on the standard of care that can be provided as shown by numerous negative media reports about the conditions for both staff and patients. If we want quality healthcare then, clearly this financial burden needs to be alleviated. One way to do so would be to increase the contributions made by citizens through increased taxation. Alternatively, governments could encourage those who can afford it to take up private healthcare arrangements. By switching to a private model, the well-off can afford a higher quality of care, while at the same relieving pressure on public services for those who do not have the means to go private. One thing is for certain, an ageing population has increased the pressure on existing health provision. If we are going to maintain the standards of healthcare that we are used to, more funding needs to be found either through taxation and alternative forms of provision should be considered. Otherwise, standards will fall and people’s lives will be put at risk.
Advances in medical science are resulting in prolonged lifespans
but
there is a knock-on effect for public
health
services with
many
hospitals struggling to cope with an aging populace.
Many
countries enjoy the benefits of free or
subsidised
national public
health
services.
However
, there are
some
within senior
health
management who claim that such provision will become unsustainable, and I
firmly
agree
that
changes
need
to
be made
in order to reflect this changing reality.

Despite the notion that healthcare should be 'free', such care is
predominantly
funded by the taxpayer. To give a specific example, a recent report in my country established that almost 40% of the nation’s tax spending
is distributed
to healthcare and
some
80% of that figure
is reserved
for treating the elderly. This is a disproportionate amount of money which has
greatly
increased the burden on the state and existing funding is no longer sufficient to
meet
these
needs
. This is turn impacts on the standard of care that can
be provided
as shown by numerous
negative
media reports about the conditions for both staff and patients. If we want quality healthcare then,
clearly
this financial burden
needs
to
be alleviated
.

One way to do
so
would be to increase the contributions made by citizens through increased taxation.
Alternatively
,
governments
could encourage those who can afford it to take up private healthcare arrangements. By switching to a private model, the well-off can afford a higher quality of care, while at the same relieving pressure on public services for those who do not have the means to go private.

One thing is for certain, an
ageing
population has increased the pressure on existing
health
provision. If we are going to maintain the standards of healthcare that we are
used
to, more funding
needs
to
be found
either through taxation and alternative forms of provision should
be considered
.
Otherwise
, standards will fall and
people
’s
lives
will
be put
at
risk
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that reward deserved who is good in academic results. But other think that it is important who improvement.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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