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Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children’s time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children’s time is better spent on more academic subjects. bRMg
Children spend a large portion of their formative years at educational institutions, and while some argue that academic subjects should be given more importance than Physical Education subjects, I believe that the latter is as essential, if not more so, than the former due to its numerous positive effects on the development of mental and physical abilities of young impressionable children and their future lives as well as career prospects. The main argument against the inclusion of Physical Education classes in schools is that academic subjects such as Mathematics, Physics, English, etc. , are seen as more essential for a child’s development than physical training. This, in turn, results in schools spending considerably more money on ensuring their institutions are well-equipped to teach instead of upgrading their sports facilities. This belief neglects the individual skills and mental caliber of children and ignores the scientific fact that all children are different: some may be innately predisposed to sports, which is another form of Physical Education, while other children might find that they enjoy studying theoretical subjects more. Physically gifted children may go on to have professional careers in sports and physical training, and therefore, getting them started earlier on may be beneficial to them. Furthermore, Physical Education classes may provide a fun break from academic classes, constantly studying which may get mentally taxing and monotonous. Another reason is that schools do not realize their responsibility to inculcate productive exercizing habits from early on, and therefore believe that the onus of introducing physical education in the daily life of children is on their parents. This notion is dangerous because educational institutions cannot evade their responsibility to help create a strong foundation for children, which could facilitate in their becoming well-adjusted and functional adults in the future. It is also possible that the amount of schoolwork allotted to children may eat into the time they could potentially devote to exercize in their everyday lives. Moreover, since parents are not trained educators, they might not know the significance of daily exercize and physical education. In conclusion, I strongly believe that Physical Education classes are immensely important for school-age children because both their minds and bodies need training and development, and focusing on one and neglecting the other may restrict their physical and mental growth and negatively impact their future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
spend a large portion of their formative years at educational institutions, and while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more importance than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, I believe that the latter is as essential, if not more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, than the former due to its numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the development of mental and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
abilities of young impressionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as well
as career prospects.

The main argument against the inclusion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in schools is that academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as Mathematics, Physics, English, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as more essential for a child’s development than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training. This, in turn, results in schools spending
considerably
more money on ensuring their institutions are well-equipped to teach
instead
of upgrading their sports facilities. This belief neglects the individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and mental caliber of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
the scientific fact that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may be
innately
predisposed to sports, which is another form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might find that they enjoy studying theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
more.
Physically
gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may go on to have professional careers in sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training, and
therefore
, getting them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
earlier on may be beneficial to them.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
may provide a fun break from academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
,
constantly
studying which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mentally taxing and monotonous.

Another reason is that schools do not realize their responsibility to inculcate productive
Possible spelling mistake found.
exercizing
habits from early on, and
therefore
believe that the onus of introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the daily life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is on their parents. This notion is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
educational institutions cannot evade their responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
create a strong foundation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which could facilitate in their becoming well-adjusted and functional adults in the future. It is
also
possible that the amount of schoolwork allotted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may eat into the time they could
potentially
devote to
Possible spelling mistake found.
exercize
in their everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, since parents are not trained educators, they might not know the significance of daily
Possible spelling mistake found.
exercize
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are
immensely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for school-age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both their minds and bodies need training and development, and focusing on one and neglecting the other may restrict their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental growth and
negatively
impact their future.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children’s time is better spent on more academic subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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