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Some people think that renewable energy sources can help the world to maintain its energy security. Others, however, claim that this function can hardly exist. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that renewable energy sources can help the world to maintain its energy security. Others, however, claim that this function can hardly exist. dDRrr
Governments in some countries have directed their attention to alternative sources of energy such as solar, nuclear or tidal energy. In my opinion, this development could be both positive and negative, as now will be discussed. Renewable energy is undoubtedly a step forward for several reasons. Firstly, alternative energy is unlimited while fossil fuels will soon exhaust due to the increasing demand today. For this reason, depending on fossil fuel cannot guarantee long-term sustainability. Sooner or later human will have to seek for other or additional sources of energy which are more reliable and sustainable. Secondly, environmental pollution is deteriorating at an alarming rate owing to the combustion of fossil fuels through production process. In addition, exhaust fumes from vehicles which run on oil or petroleum can also contribute to the greenhouse gases and global warming. These are closely linked with many respiratory diseases, putting the health of people at risk. However, if an eco-friendlier source of power like solar or wind is used instead, our world will become greener and therefore, people’s health can be improved. On the other hand, despite the good impacts mentioned above, I believe that using alternative energy could be detrimental to some extent. Firstly, nuclear energy can be turned into a weapon. If it is possessed by terrorist organizations, the peace of our world would be endangered. Secondly, this type of energy is largely dependent on weather, which may cause interruptions in power supply. For example, it is almost impossible for people to use solar power in cloudy days. It goes without saying that the use of nuclear power can pose threats to human beings. Nuclear radiation accident in Japan is a telling example, which had led to numerous lethal effects to individuals and disasters to the surrounding environment. In conclusion, the benefit of alternative energy is indisputable, but its downsides should not be overlooked as well. Hence, governments should take serious consideration before coming up with the most suitable type of energy for their countries.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have directed their attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
such as solar, nuclear or tidal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. In my opinion, this development could be both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
will
be discussed
.

Renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
undoubtedly
a step forward for several reasons.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is unlimited
while fossil fuels will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
exhaust due to the increasing demand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For this reason
, depending on fossil fuel cannot guarantee long-term sustainability. Sooner or later human will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
seek for other or additional sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
which are more reliable and sustainable.
Secondly
, environmental pollution is deteriorating at an alarming rate owing to the combustion of fossil fuels through production process.
In addition
, exhaust fumes from vehicles which run on oil or petroleum can
also
contribute to the greenhouse gases and global warming. These are
closely
linked with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respiratory diseases, putting the health of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
However
, if an
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-friendlier
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
like solar or wind is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
instead
, our world will become greener and
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s health can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

On the other hand
, despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impacts mentioned above, I believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
could be detrimental to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Firstly
, nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
can
be turned
into a weapon. If it
is possessed
by terrorist organizations, the peace of our world would
be endangered
.
Secondly
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
largely
dependent on weather, which may cause interruptions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
supply.
For example
, it is almost impossible for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in cloudy days. It goes without saying that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
can pose threats to human beings. Nuclear radiation accident in Japan is a telling example, which had led to numerous lethal effects to individuals and disasters to the surrounding environment.

In conclusion
, the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is indisputable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its downsides should not
be overlooked
as well
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take serious consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming up with the most suitable type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
for their countries.
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IELTS essay Some people think that renewable energy sources can help the world to maintain its energy security. Others, however, claim that this function can hardly exist.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Some people think that renewable energy sources can help the world to maintain its energy security. Others, however, claim that this function can hardly exist. Discuss both views and give your opinion.