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Some people think that purpose of museums should be to attract and entertain young people. Others believe that the purpose of a museum is to educate, not entertain. Disuss both view and give opinion

Some people think that purpose of museums should be to attract and entertain young people. Others believe that the purpose of a museum is to educate, not entertain. Disuss both view and give opinion g5WbL
Museums are among the best places which gives vast historical information about the past of any place. Some people assume that a museum should be aimed for youth fun. Whereas, a group of others, believe that such landmarks are to provide knowledge rather than entertainment. This essay will discus both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why visiting museum for educational reason is superior. Due to modernization, historical landmarks are considered to fascinate the youth. Because, new generation does not feel pleasure in visiting such quite and calm places. For instance, the Turkey is a centre of attraction for their historical background which includes old buildings, ferry ride, dolmabache palace and beautiful mosques located in different regions. Apart from mosques, all other places in that country are designed accordingly which attract people by their music, dance and culture. However, it brings tourism which is economically beneficial for the country. A number of the community, agree that museum is to educate the new generation. To some extent, it is true because, history is the important subject by which we can teach about past to our youngsters. So, such places should be designed accordingly which provide quite and deep info about their cultural, linguistic and professional backgrounds. For example, in China 70% of museums are free of cost for everyone and it is prohibited to talk loudly and have entertainment on such places because that will effect their environment. Moreover, many educational centres take students for museum trips so they can get knowledge about past of their country which generates enthusiasm in our youth. To conclude, historical places are increasingly popular these days because of their beauty and unique items. This essay discussed why it is necessary to keep museums for educational purpose because of their informative use. In my opinion, the governing bodies should take necessary steps to maintain discipline on these places and create awareness about its educational use through the latest use of technologies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
are among the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which gives vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
information about the past of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assume that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
should
be aimed
for youth fun. Whereas, a group of others, believe that such landmarks are to provide knowledge
rather
than entertainment. This essay will
Did you mean the verb "discuss" (= talk about something)?
discus
both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
reason is superior.

Due to modernization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
landmarks
are considered
to fascinate the youth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, new generation does not feel pleasure in visiting such quite and calm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For instance
, the Turkey is a
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of attraction for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
background which includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buildings, ferry ride,
Possible spelling mistake found.
dolmabache
palace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
mosques located in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions. Apart from mosques, all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in that country
are designed
accordingly
which attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by their music, dance and culture.
However
, it brings tourism which is
economically
beneficial for the country.

A number of the community,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is to educate the new generation. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, it is true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, history is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subject by which we can teach about past to our youngsters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
should
be designed
accordingly
which provide quite and deep info about their cultural, linguistic and professional backgrounds.
For example
, in China 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are free of cost for everyone and it
is prohibited
to talk
loudly
and have entertainment on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
their environment.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
take students for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
trips
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about past of their country which generates enthusiasm in our youth.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
increasingly
popular these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their beauty and unique items. This essay discussed why it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their informative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. In my opinion, the governing bodies should take necessary steps to maintain discipline on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and create awareness about its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
through the latest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technologies.
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IELTS essay Some people think that purpose of museums should be to attract and entertain young people. Others believe that the purpose of a museum is to educate, not entertain. Disuss both view and give opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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