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Some people think that punishing children is important to understand what is right or wrong. However others think that It is not good. Discuss both sides give and give your own opinion

Some people think that punishing children is important to understand what is right or wrong. However others think that It is not good. Discuss both sides give and give your own opinion wBQg3
Upbringing of children is always one the most important processes in a society. Thus, there are different theories about how to make this process the most efficient. A group of individuals reckon that punishment is cardinal for children to understand the difference between right and wrong whilst others argue that it is not vital. This essay will analyze both sides before declaring a position. On the one hand, some people are against children being punished as in this way they may lose their self-confidence. For instance, I know a colleague of mine, Anvar, whose parents were always penalizing him for every mere mistake he made. As a result, the man now is not capable of making decisions on his own. That’s why punishing individuals in their childhood may leave on them unfavorable consequences. However, different types of penalties may have different outcomes. On the other hand, there can be found many people who feel that punishment is crucial for children, and it is harmless and rather very productive if adopted in a right way. For example, it is obvious fact that parents throughout the world use punishments, though in various means, to teach their kids what is right and what is wrong. Moreover, according to Jordan B Peterson, professor of psychology from University of Toronto, utilizing the method of deliberately not paying attention is essential when the children reach extreme points in their behavior. Hence, punishing kids while giving them instructions on morality is pivotal for them. To conclude, although both sides of this argument have strong support, I personally believe that embracing punishment in teaching children about right and wrong is important if practiced correctly. So I hope that, in the future there will be more parents who cleverly use penalties in the upbringing of their children for the good of humanity.
Upbringing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is always one the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
processes in a society.
Thus
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
theories about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this process the most efficient. A group of individuals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "reckons"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'reckon' is not always incorrect.)
reckon
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is cardinal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to understand the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
whilst others argue that it is not vital. This essay will analyze both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
declaring a position.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being punished
as in this way they may lose their self-confidence.
For instance
, I know a colleague of mine,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anvar
, whose parents were always penalizing him for every mere mistake he made.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is not capable of making decisions on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. That’s why punishing individuals in their childhood may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
on them unfavorable consequences.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of penalties may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
outcomes.

On the other hand
, there can
be found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and it is harmless and
rather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
productive if adopted in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
way.
For example
, it is obvious fact that parents throughout the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, though in various means, to teach their kids what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Moreover
, according to Jordan B Peterson, professor of psychology from University of Toronto, utilizing the method of
deliberately
not paying attention is essential when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
reach extreme points in their behavior.
Hence
, punishing kids while giving them instructions on morality is pivotal for them.

To conclude
, although both sides of this argument have strong support, I
personally
believe that embracing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
if practiced
correctly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I hope that, in the future there will be more parents who
cleverly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
penalties in the upbringing of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of humanity.
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IELTS essay Some people think that punishing children is important to understand what is right or wrong. However others think that It is not good. Discuss both sides give and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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