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Some people think that public libraries are no longer important while others disagree Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people think that public libraries are no longer important while others disagree 2
Although public libraries are considered not to be required anymore by some people, others oppose this view point. In my opinion, I believe that nowadays, due to modernization, internet has beginning to rival the importance of libraries. On the one hand, digitalization is the major reason as to why a few people assert that libraries are not needed further. In the past, people did not have access to the technology; therefore, they often used to visit libraries for reading books or newspapers. However, these days, people can get the required information from the internet just at one button click without having to step outside their homes. For instance, as per a survey conducted in the US, 90 out of 100 people depicted their priorities to read on the internet instead of the libraries because of the ease of access to information. On the other hand, some people believe that libraries are must because they think that reading at libraries is more interesting as they provide them a platform to socialize and exchange information with others. In other words, when people visit libraries they may get a chance to meet someone who may have interest in reading the same books or have more intensive knowledge than their own level. Therefore, this practice can make reading or learning more enjoyable than reading alone at home. In conclusion, while people may hold different convictions whether libraries are required any longer or not, I believe that progressive use of internet for information gathering raises a question mark on the existence of libraries.
Although public libraries
are considered
not to
be required
Make sure that 'anymore' is used as an adverb, not as an adjective. Did you mean "any more"?
anymore
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, others oppose this view point. In my opinion, I believe that nowadays, due to modernization, internet has beginning to rival the importance of libraries.

On the one hand, digitalization is the major reason as to why a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that libraries are not needed
further
. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have access to the technology;
therefore
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to visit libraries for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books or newspapers.
However
, these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the required information from the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
at one button click without having to step outside their homes.
For instance
, as per a survey conducted in the US, 90 out of 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
depicted their priorities to read on the internet
instead
of the libraries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of access to information.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that libraries are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
at libraries is more interesting as they provide them a platform to socialize and exchange information with others. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit libraries they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
someone who may have interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the same books or have more intensive knowledge than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
level.
Therefore
, this practice can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
or learning more enjoyable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
alone at home.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
convictions whether libraries
are required
any longer or not, I believe that progressive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet for information gathering raises a question mark on the existence of libraries.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that public libraries are no longer important while others disagree 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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