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Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.5

Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. v. 5
In recent decades, many researchers have studied the importance of prison sentences for criminals. Indeed, to my mind, there is now convincing evidence that jails should not be utilized for punishment by authorities. In this essay, I shall examine how research in human rights violation and psychological effects of deterrence supports this view. To begin with, human rights are violated in prisons. This is because the freedom of living and maintaining life standards for basic needs of a human being will be restricted when individuals are in custody. For example, a recent Cambridge study showed that violations of prisoners’ rights will be resulted in possible future criminal attempts instead of the deterrence of jails. Therefore, it is certainly the case that prison sentences ought not to be implemented to tackle with criminals. Secondly, the psychological effects on convicts at jails will cause prisoners to attempt criminal activities in the future. This is because both facilities and managements of jails will not prevent criminals to avoid committing a crime in the future. For instance, a study by Oxford found that 75 out of 100 prisoners tend to involve prospective criminal activities due to lack of psychological supports. Thus, it is certainly the case that psychological effects do not make prisoners keep away from future crimes. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that criminals cannot be deterred in prison sentences. In the future, we will obviously see authorities will take an action to overcome these situations by improving the system of the law.
In recent decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers have studied the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
Indeed
, to my mind, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
convincing evidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
should not
be utilized
for punishment by authorities. In this essay, I shall examine how research in human rights violation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
effects of deterrence supports this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, human rights
are violated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the freedom of living and maintaining life standards for basic needs of a human being will
be restricted
when individuals are in custody.
For example
, a recent Cambridge study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that violations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners’
rights will
be resulted
in possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
attempts
instead
of the deterrence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
.
Therefore
, it is
certainly
the case that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences ought not to
be implemented
to tackle with criminals.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
effects on convicts at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
will cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
to attempt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both facilities and managements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jails
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to avoid committing a crime in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
For instance
, a study by Oxford found that 75 out of 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
tend to involve prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
supports.
Thus
, it is
certainly
the case that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychological
effects do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
crimes.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
cannot
be deterred
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, we will
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
authorities will take an action to overcome these situations by improving the system of the law.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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