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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? what other factors contribute towards happiness? v. 7

Nowadays, money is vital in all kinds of emergencies. However, a few public considered that happiness cannot be found without money. In my opinion, I think that, people can be happy with some money in life and there are some more factors those contributing towards happiness. Firstly, I think that people can enjoy the life with a low amount of payment. In other words, low salary, but enough for paying such eating, travelling, health insurance as well as rent is enough to be happy with a short payment. For instance, my neighbour Faruk earns only two thousand dollars per month, but he can save fifty dollars after paying every spending ways. Besides, people can live happier with a short amount of salary by paying some essential ways of life. On the other hand, there are a lot of ways to get the happiness rather than paying. Therefore, helping other is more valuable. Furthermore, government doctors in villages cannot earn a lot, even if, they are helping the poor people with the helping hands. For example, my relative Dr. Habib, who is a government doctor lives in a small village with a short budget of the bill, moreover, he cannot save anything, but to help the poors with the health service. Also, people can enjoy the career with a shortage budget of salary while they are helping others. In conclusion, the bill is a way that helps to be happy. Although, I personally think that people can be happy without a lot of bills, because people can be happy with paying some career issues and helping others is another way to be happy.

IELTS essay Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? what other factors contribute towards happiness? v.7

Nowadays, money is vital in all kinds of emergencies.
However
, a few public considered that happiness cannot
be found
without money. In my opinion, I
think
that,
people
can be happy with
some
money in life and there are
some
more factors those contributing towards happiness.
Firstly
, I
think
that
people
can enjoy the life with a low amount of payment.
In other words
, low salary,
but
enough
for paying such eating, travelling, health insurance
as well
as rent is
enough
to be happy with a short payment.
For instance
, my
neighbour
Faruk
earns
only
two thousand dollars per month,
but
he can save fifty dollars after paying every spending ways.
Besides
,
people
can
live
happier with a short amount of salary by paying
some
essential ways of life.
On the other hand
, there are
a lot of
ways to
get
the happiness
rather
than paying.
Therefore
, helping other is more valuable.
Furthermore
,
government
doctors in villages cannot earn a lot, even if, they are helping the poor
people
with the helping hands.
For example
, my relative Dr.
Habib
, who is a
government
doctor
lives
in a
small
village with a short budget of the bill,
moreover
, he cannot save anything,
but
to
help
the
poors
with the health service.
Also
,
people
can enjoy the career with a shortage budget of salary while they are helping others.
In conclusion
, the bill is a way that
helps
to be happy. Although, I
personally
think
that
people
can be happy without
a lot of
bills,
because
people
can be happy with paying
some
career issues and helping others is another way to be happy.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
4 paragraphs
272 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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