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As public safety is of the highest importance, it is often necessary to test new products on animals. It is better for a few animals to suffer from for human life to be placed at risk by untested products. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

As public safety is of the highest importance, it is often necessary to test new products on animals. It is better for a few animals to suffer from for human life to be placed at risk by untested products. with this statement? v. 1
The testing of new products on animals is controversial. Some people claim that in view of public safety, it is essential to test these new products on animals. These people also feel that instead of putting human life at risk, it is better for a few animals suffer by untested products. I completely agree with this statement. Firstly, few animals has the same genetic configuration as that of humans. Hence their manifestations are similar to the humans. For instance, injection insulin is a life saving drug for diabetics. It was released to the public, only after testing on animals for immediate and delayed manifestations. Perhaps, millions of people would have succumbed to diabetes, if this life saving drug was not tested on animals. Therefore, to attain utmost safety for millions of people any new drug or product must ensure adequate testing on animals, which are genetically similar to human genome. Secondly, humans are allergic to certain chemicals and they are prone to anaphylactic shock, which can cause death instantly. For example, certain untested perfumes or deodorants can result in severe life threatening allergic reactions. Moreover, if some animals are sacrificed while testing, it has indirectly saved lives of thousands of people. Because, such products will not be released into the market. Overall, humans can be at risk, if they are using products, which are not tested adequately. In conclusion, many human lives can be protected, if the new products undergo prior adequate animal testing. Finally, harming few animals is better than risking the human life.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
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products
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is controversial.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that in view of public safety, it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. These
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people
also
feel that
instead
of putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, it is better for a few
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animals
suffer by untested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Firstly
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has the same genetic configuration as that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
their manifestations are similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
For instance
, injection insulin is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
saving drug for diabetics. It
was released
to the public,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for immediate and delayed manifestations. Perhaps, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have succumbed to diabetes, if this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
saving drug was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Therefore
, to attain utmost safety for millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
drug or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, which are
genetically
similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
genome.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are allergic to certain
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
chemicals and
they are prone to anaphylactic shock, which can cause death
instantly
.
For example
, certain untested perfumes or deodorants can result in severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
threatening allergic reactions.
Moreover
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are sacrificed
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
, it has
indirectly
saved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, such
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products
will not
be released
into the market.
Overall
,
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humans
can be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, if they are using
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products
, which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
adequately
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
can
be protected
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
undergo prior adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
.
Finally
, harming few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is better than risking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay As public safety is of the highest importance, it is often necessary to test new products on animals. It is better for a few animals to suffer from for human life to be placed at risk by untested products. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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