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Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.6

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. v. 6
People have different views with regard to the most important factor in the success of a sport game. While some argue that players need physical strength to win a game, I strongly believe that mental strength exerts much more powerful impact. On the one hand, I concur that the opportunity of success can be enhanced only if there are fittest and strongest teams and individuals. To be more specific, sports are often considered to require heavy workouts and physical activities. As a result, players and their teams need years of training and practice so that they may be able to compete with others to win a game. A typical example of this would be football, which always demand personal skills, experience and teamwork skills to score as many goals as possible as well as avoid any fines during a particular match. On the other hand, I personally reckon that mental attitudes play a much more vital role in not only the final results but also their long-term careers as attitudes truly act as motivations for athletes to overcome failures and try more. In fact, the very thing that make a world-class player different from an inconsistent performer is mental toughness. To illustrate, there are a variety of professional athletes becoming legend thanks to failure lessons in the past such as Lionel Messi, Sachin Tendulkar. In conclusion, it seems to me that the success of a sport should be defined by mental attitudes, not by the strength and power of the players.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views with regard to the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in the success of a sport game. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
need physical strength to win a game, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
strength exerts much more powerful impact.

On the one hand, I concur that the opportunity of success can
be enhanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if there are fittest and strongest teams and individuals. To be more specific, sports are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
The verb 'considered' is used with the gerund form: "considered requiring".
considered to require
heavy workouts and physical activities.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and their teams need years of training and practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they may be able to compete with others to win a game. A typical example of this would be football, which always demand personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, experience and teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to score as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
goals as possible
as well
as avoid any fines during a particular match.

On the other hand
, I
personally
reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
attitudes play a much more vital role in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the final results
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their long-term careers as attitudes
truly
act as motivations for athletes to overcome failures and try more. In fact, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from an inconsistent performer is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
toughness. To illustrate, there are a variety of professional athletes becoming legend thanks to failure lessons in the past such as Lionel Messi,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that the success of a sport should
be defined
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
attitudes, not by the strength and power of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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