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Some people think that people who destroy public property should be punished by community services instead of other punishments such as paying a fine and going to prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that people who destroy public property should be punished by community services instead of other punishments such as paying a fine and going to prison. d372r
Some people think that people who destroy public property should be punished by community services instead of other punishments such as paying a fine and going to prison. In my opinion I think that people who destroy public property should be punished by community services. Public works are built by everyone together to serve the community's needs for entertainment, recreation, and sports training. Those who intentionally destroy those structures must let themselves restore them to their original state. At that time, they will feel the suffering of the people who have been built, the common works for everyone to use. And when forcing them to pay fines, they just need to spend money and then they continue to destroy other works. If they were put in prison, it would be quite harsh for them, unable to show them the importance of those works, they don't know how to appreciate the strength of the person who made the thing.
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Some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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people
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destroy
public property should
be punished
by community services
instead
of other punishments such as paying a fine and going to prison. In my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destroy
public property should
be punished
by community services. Public works
are built
by everyone together to serve the community's needs for entertainment, recreation, and sports training. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
intentionally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destroy
those structures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
themselves restore them to their original state. At that time, they will feel the suffering of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
been built
, the common works for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. And when forcing them to pay fines, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to spend
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
then they continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destroy
other works. If they
were put
in prison, it would be quite harsh for them, unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them the importance of those works, they don't know how to appreciate the strength of the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
made the thing.

IELTS essay Some people think that people who destroy public property should be punished by community services instead of other punishments such as paying a fine and going to prison.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
158 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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