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Do you think that smokers should be reduced with free medical treatment when they get ill? Support your points with specific examples and details.

Do you think that smokers should be reduced with free medical treatment when they get ill? Support your points with specific examples and details. E7rKR
There are millions of people who smoke everyday and know that it harms they body and health, but they still smoke it. Smoking as you know is very addictive, but in my opinion, this is not judicial argument for smoking, due to the fact that everyone knows what smoking does to a human’s body. I think that smokers should be reduced with free medical treatment when they get ill and I will try to examine below specific reasons for my arguments. First of all, I want to admit that when a person starts smoking it’s really hard to stop in the future. It’s just really addictive and I know how hard it is to say no to something addictive like that, but when it comes to your health, you should do everything to improve it and survive. Health is the most important concern for a society and this means that you should always avoid bad habits such as smoking cigarettes, because this will devastate your lungs and health. Secondly, I believe that when someone smokes, he/she exactly knows what smoking does to him/her. When a person knows what he/she does to himself/herself it’s always his/her fault to be in a bad condition. These kinds of a people do not deserve free medical treatment and usually nothing helps them. When you hurt yourself and realize how it affect on your future you should stop there and start a new life without addiction. Last but not least, I consider that there are two types of smokers in the world. One who starts to smoke and then stops, in the light of the fact that he/she realizes how bad he/she harms her body. About second type of people, they know that they shorten their lifespan by themselves but still can not avoid smoking. People who stops smoking at a right time they survive and usually do not need any medical treatment and second type of smokers do net even deserve free treatment because they did this to their body with their hands. In conclusion, I believe that people who need treatment and want most importantly by themselves and not with other people’s request they get medical treatment and people who do not think about their health and just think about pleasing their desires rarely get treatment which should not be free. I confess my position in strict way due to the fact that smoking means devastating yourself which is sin, because you kill yourself only for compulsion and treatment for this should not be free.
There are millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that it harms they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
as you
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know
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
addictive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, this is not judicial argument for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, due to the fact that everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
does to a human’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that smokers should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ill and I will try to examine below specific reasons for my arguments.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I want to admit that when a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
it’s
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
in the future. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
really
addictive and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
it is to say no to something addictive like that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, you should do everything to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it and survive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
concern for a society and this means that you should always avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
cigarettes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will devastate your lungs and health.

Secondly
, I believe that when someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smokes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
exactly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
does to him/her.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
does to himself/herself it’s always his/her fault to be in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
condition. These kinds of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not deserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and
usually
nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them. When you hurt yourself and realize how it
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on your future you should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
there and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new life without addiction.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I consider that there are two types of smokers in the world. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stops
, in the light of the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
realizes how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
harms her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
. About second type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that they shorten their lifespan by themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
can not avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "stop"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'People' should be used.
stops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
at a right time they survive and
usually
do not need any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and second type of smokers do net even deserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they did this to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
with their hands.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and want most
importantly
by themselves and not with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
request they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about pleasing their desires rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
which should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
. I confess my position in strict way due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
means devastating yourself which is sin,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you kill yourself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for compulsion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
for this should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
.
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IELTS essay Do you think that smokers should be reduced with free medical treatment when they get ill? Support your points with specific examples and details.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
422 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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